I now know how some people feel when we keep calling them hypocrites.. (I'm not talking about politicians..) but guess what... (although in this particular case, no one has openly called me that, except me, myself & I)

I think, some people are nice, that's why they are hypocrites.. (hard to believe? it's not really intentional, they do really feel sorry and sincerely want to help the person.. perhaps... we can't really call them hypocrites then? but I digress...pity such as theirs, more often then not get abused... steel yourself!!) sometimes on this planet, I don't know why, but there appears a sort of person that can force you to be a hypocrite when you don't want to be one. but you find it so hard not to be one... without even realising it, if you don't stop to think...

seriously, if you didn't think, you wouldn't realise it... (come to think of it... actually in a lot of small little ways we are hypocrites...little Napoleons.. we can't survive in this cruel society otherwise... how many times were we forced to say or do things against our believe, because society or your peers, for that matter think it is the right thing to do?)

example... you don't really like the person, (i.e. the person isn't someone you would really bother to hang out with, or deal with, unless absolutely necessary...) but you are okay with the person, (i.e not repulsed, you don't think the person as a cockroach or something like that, civil human beings at least would think that right?)..

you are fairly neutral and civil to the person.... I mean, what's there to be not neutral and civil?? just don't expect me to act like your long lost buddy... we are all generally nice people... but...

well for me... honestly..... I don't really care.. (if you do something to piss me off, I get angry fast and cool down just as fast.. if you own up and apologise, even better..) just stay off my tail, leave me alone... respect me, and I respect you... you want to bitch behind my back, fine.. it's normal... as they say, what you don't know can't hurt you... people need to rant, I understand that..

The reason why I don't exactly conform to society, but do conform to society's pressure in certain ways (hope you understand what I'm trying to say) is because I want a peaceful life.... no, or little drama... I like my privacy and my life, thank you very much.. but what is pissing me off is that I can't say my mind... every time.... time and time again... God!! why are there people like this on earth??

I know, I know.. to test my patience... and my sincerity, they make the world a colourful place.. so that I've something to laugh about when I'm not that pissed... so with this rant.. I am going to do my best to put it behind me, and just be a robot... to all those sort of people.. (so that I can't, hopefully be a hypocrite) it's just that.. actually.. I think the idiocy irritates me more...

Can't beat them? join them... let's all be little Napoleons.. Utopia does not exist.. never did, never will... life is cruel... and what can we do but just live it... sigh, the irony of it all..

-Oracl3-

haha the title could make for a good book :p

Edit: Gyaah.. so bad luck today.. first my shoe... then the train.. took me 2 and a half hours to get home.. my premonitions can get kinda scary... =.=' (030309)

I've a bad premonition coming up... but I don't know what it is...

理容は本当に知らない、でも、私は今はね、本当に恐「コワ」い．助けて下さい．身体「からだ」は震「ふる」えてる．．どうして？？ O_o'

Starting to worry about the ethics exam, after receiving some advice from a colleague on Friday... O_o'

Well, wouldn't any normal student worry about an exam with such a low passing rate?? =.='
Scary...


-Oracl3-

最近に，知らないの理容「りよう」はけど，でも私にとても、とても元気はない。はあ〜

Been feeling blue of late... don't know why... don't think it's the timing or anything... just feeling blue..

And the world moves on... Sigh.... I am but one small insignificant speck on this huge planet.. so what did I expect? *shrugs* haha.. okay, joking aside...

Shall squeeze in some work before I hit the sack tonight.. I'm happy I've got something new to do, cause that means I've managed to finish yet another thing.... YAY!! XD

別の場所見る下さい

-Oracl3-

Sorry, it's short.. am moodless....

Life can be a real prick...but I think people are the real pricks.... The people around us, are what determines how our environment will be like. The people that we pick to surround us, or in which the situations causes us to be surrounded by such people, determine how eventful or boring our life shall be...

Sometimes we just get so fed up with some people and things, but we can't help it, it's not easy to get rid off. Getting rid of it, would mean breaking fellowships and things, which seems kind of selfish and childish on my part. And I don't want people to take sides, because of my little rift, or dissatisfaction. And well, wouldn't it be a waste of things??

But being so altruistic has no benefits at all, people don't appreciate you, take you for granted, assume you are always carefree, and basically take the fullest advantage out of you, whether they realise it or not, and that gets very tiring. You get sick of people who seem to care, but don't care at all.

Whether they are pretending to care, or really care but don't know how to show it, remains a mystery. But it still gets sickening, and tiring. Gestures are nice, sincere gestures are even nicer. Maybe it was the way I was brought up, but I guess what I'm looking for has yet to come, or I'm not doing the right things to meet what I'm looking for.

But sometimes when I stop and look to my sides, I see somethings that I've searched for. It's not exactly complete, and makes me want more, then I start to think, am I being greedy? Is that Okay? Is it okay to be selfish? To take, and not give in return? I don't want to fall to that level, so I hesitate.....

Okay.... Fake Buddhist Crapping post aside.. (currently reading the Buddha, Geoff & Me.. that would explain it all...) which I think only 3 people would somewhat understand fully what this is all about.... So if you don't understand it, it's okay... it's just me crapping.... On to some other news....

Life has been mundane lately, wake up - go to work - come home - work and sleep late; or if possible, watch some drama or anime or something and sleep early - repeat again the next day.

Friday is a tad different, since I get to hang out with some friends every Friday after work, then Weekends.... I've not much of a life either.... and Monday crawls on me from behind again.. with somewhat murderous intent...

Christmas was okay, it was the usual eating spree.. Nothing superb... unless you count my aunt's new house.. she has a flair for decoration I must say... :p

Boxing day was sad! I had to work.... But it was okay... The day after was okay, since its the sales, bought 2 working blouses... so damn Expensive... and the shirts in that shopping mall... the mall I frequent is crap... not even 2 months, and there's a pleasant hole in the blouse.. it was like 45 bucks!! RIP OFF!! BOYCOTT!!!!! GAAAHHH!! Waste of money... not-so-cheap is not neccessarily good.. Sometimes we have to go for the brands, for QUALITY products...

Next...

Someone weirded me out recently, with its (Yes, you read correct, no gender to be specified... could or could not even be human....) actions?

Maybe it's me being overly sensitive.. but please.. don't do things like that in front of me??? It freaks me out, cause it NEVER does that..... Okay, maybe I'm being overly sensitive.. Ignore me...

Ants are attacking me...

My intention to build more good karma has gone down the drain, since they started biting me... Am on a murder spree now.. killing not-so-innocent victims....

-Oracl3-

31st October 2008 was halloween.. although this country of mine doesn't widely celebrate it as in like the west, Mel decided to organise one for our university mates.. so we did.. and on the 31st we ended up at TGIF at the curve for dinner and to well.. just be what we aren't haha..

Well.. there's nothing much to say here.. the pictures will say it all, when blogspot or maxis.. stops being such and ass and allows me to upload pictures.. so await an edit to this post...

Edit

Here we have Terence as the Joker from batman.. Me as a Japanese School girl... most likely from Tokyo haha.. Xian Ai & Wei Li the devil... Some waiter from TGIF posing as grim the ripper and Marlyn as some vampire...


after dinner we headed to Quatron near KLCC for some clubbing.. it's anew club with the concept of having 4 seasons.. hence the reason of my post now... If you are the kind like me, who goes clubbing for the dancing part and not the drinking part.. then please spare yourself the misery of going to Quatron..

That place is for people to drink!! There is no dance floor.. I reapeat... THERE IS NO DANCE FLOOR. The place is horrid if you hate ciggeratte smoke like me.. and well my allergies thank you to it.. My eyes sting like mad.. and well.. strangely enough.. I didn't cough that much as I thought I would.... Well in return I got a headache.. guess the people nearby must have been smoking... ermm.. Dunhills I think... Well, if I recall correctly that's the brand that gives me minimal cough but a huge headache... sigh..

Well, the smoke was horrible for my eyes.. and I suffer the effects still... one day after that.. And I've washed my hair twice and it STILL STINKS OF CIGGERATE SMOKE... Woe is me.....

Listening to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture..... fitting?? Watched 2 movies today.. The Holiday and 21.. Yesterday I watched Just Like Heaven.. all 3 are nice movies.. shall review them later when I get the chance... Since I start work this coming monday... =.='

And also speaking of which.. when the club asked for contact details I purposely changed one of the digits of my handphone number to avoid getting spammed by them.. and woah... they still managed to send spam to me... =.=' horrible.. totally horrible...

-Oracl3-

We all know what I go through when the weather is this unbearably hot.. thus is my life... Sigh...

Got back from the South 2 days ago? Was in Singapore, seeing my cute nephews and well.. maybe it's my last trip since I'll start work next week.. NEXT MONDAY to be exact.. that will mean even less time then now to do all the stuff I've usually been doing...

Of my list..

1. Sort pictures from 2006-2007 for developing Not even 10% done I think.. sad..
   
2. Finish photo album with current pictures (Where the heck did I put the pictures??! Damn!) Well there's about 30% more to go I guess.. maybe more..
   
3. Translate the Ghost Hunt Manga Volume 10 Haven't translated a thing for almost 2 months?? 20 more pages... and well. .the other parts haven't been uploaded...
   
4. Wash bathroom It obviously needs to be washed again..
   
5. tidy room... (Well only one corner is messy....) With my sister here.. it got messed again.. and well.. I did some messing too..
   
6. Iron clothes.... Non at the moment..
   
7. Tidy up cupboard...g I messed it up a tad..
   
8. Practise musical instruments? Does playing twinkle twinkle little star on the violin once count?
   
9. Blog about my excursions etc.? Well, when I find the mood.. and time... Time, time... and well.. mood... plus blogspot stop being an ass and let me upload pictures.. I can't even write reviews for CA as it is =.=
   
10. Tidy up the "Work" room next door.. well after I'm done with it.. Never touched it.. and my sis messed it up too..
    
11. ... Anything else I deem fit to enter into this entry.....

I'm a failure... it's hopeless..

Not many pictures from Singapore.. unless you count the countless nephew pictures?? ermm well... that is all for the time being.. feeling really tired.. am gonna hit the sack early before i burst a vein over my retarded adium (It works as My IM.. allows me to sign in to MSN, YM and google talk at the same time..).. so sorry if you see me signing in and out of MSN, and am not replying your messages.. It's honestly not my fault...

Mel wants to have a halloween party this friday.. i.e. 31st October 2008, means I'll miss my badminton again.. and well I don't know what to go as.. any suggestions?

I have a traditional Japanese summer dress a.k.a the Yukata and I thought of going in that(saying I'm either going as Jigoku shoujo, or some lame thing such as.. the background character in some periodical anime, where everyone wears a yukata)..

But mel suggested going as a Japanese school girl.. in which this would involve my old high school's marron tie, a white shirt, my mini red checkered skirt.. court shoes.. and white socks if I can find it... so which one should I go as...??

some "Japanese student" or some Japanese in the traditional Japanese summer dress? inputs are gladly appreciated and very much needed. Thank you

On another note.. my iTunes has been fixed.. I really got to love the guy at IT Planets at the curve.. though I feel sorry for bothering him so often.. =.='

and some earlier posts below.. will be edited to include pictures.. that is.. when my connection allows me to upload pictures... =.='

-Oracl3-

P/S: My IM is being a really HUGE pain in the ASS!! Grrrrr!!

I'm not trying to blow my trumpet here, seriously, I'm not even qualified yet, I'm still waiting for my results. And I know others are having it rougher than I, and that I should be very thankful.... but, but.. well, I may be an amoeba... but I'm still human in other respects...

I've already been to 4 interviews, and I enjoyed them all, some more than others, as they were all mostly fun and relaxing.... It really tested my ability to think on my feet, or more like the spot.. and my talking skills.... Though I don't think talking is an issue here.. I am very talkative... but I digress..

I ended up laughing with my interviewer... Again... today, and found out that he studied in Leeds and that he did the BAR in London... and well, laughing and cracking jokes... is that a good sign, or does that say I'm not serious???!!! =.='

He called me candid too.. Am I that straightforward/frank??? ..... Is that good for this line of work?? I thought lawyers are supposed to be cunning??!!

Yesterday, I found out one of my interviewers is half Chinese and very interested in Japan and their language...

Who is doing the interviewing here???!! Darn...

But well, I still got interviewed quiet normally? I'll take that as small talk.. as to how I got all these information...

As I'm sure plenty, especially in my line i.e. law, are in the same position...

Too many offers, which one to choose...?

I'm starting to think that I should stop going for interviews already, and take this time to seriously consider which firm to take.

The more firms I go to, the harder my choices become, everyone I've met is so nice, that I don't know what to do.. Even my bias-ness gets cured after the interviews...

Mid size firms are my first option, but I wouldn't mind a big sized firm. Big sized firms have more reputation, but mid size firms seem more close knit to me. Each firm has their fun people and difficult people, that's a given..

The work load will be, or should be about the same... So far all the firms I've applied to are accessible by train and is not a problem... But I don't know which to choose.. And I only have a week to do that, pending my results....

Sigh.. so many choices, not enough information, so little time..

One more interview next week, and hopefully it's the last? or should I not have that sort of hope??!!

Time to decide.. The clock is ticking.. Arghhh.... But I think I roughly know which I want... Maybe... I guess...

Oh, did I mention, I was given a tour of the firm and a doughnut after my interview today.. Sweet! :p

-Oracl3-

"Everyone just wants to be understood" -Mikex Michelle-

「にんしき」Realization, cognizance, recognition, but this is more in the context of the first meaning...

Sometimes when you chat with others, you actually realise things about yourself.. it's weird how it works, but it's scarily true...

I had a family dinner today, with my 2nd and 3rd uncles, as well as my paternal grandmother... it was a delicious dinner, full of seafood... and we left it, feeling very full.....

On the way home, my parents suddenly started asking me about my friends.... and well i just answered... and then it suddenly came down to my personality, and my friends not understanding me....

As we all know... i have a sort of difficulty mixing with girls.. something I've had since i was a child.. though now... i mix quite fairly well with girls, but I'm still always somewhat wary around the majority of them... Why? because to my understanding and belief.. women are all like elephants, do a wrong to them, and well, they will never forget it.... (and more often then not, never really truly forgive it either...they will be vile to you, bitch and gossip about you, till the end of their lives.. or well, for as long as they remember...)

Furthermore... based on my experience, women always get offended very easily, and we always have to look after their feelings, and watch what we say... etc... i know, not all of them are like that... but still.. their (the other girls) thinking, and my thinking are kind of different.... Though sometimes i do get offended easily too.... as do some men.. But hey, we are only humans...

I guess maybe it's just inborn... talking about shopping, clothes, shoes and bags, sort of bore me, but i don't mind them, and i don't mind shopping for them when i need them.. but i don't shop like the normal female, even though i am one... heck i didn't even know, some brands existed, till i was introduced to them, by my female friends... and a certain male friend who brought me shopping, ermm tagging along in London...

i mean, i would browse around, to find something i like, and which is affordable.. but when i see it, i like it, it's affordable, and i need it, i just buy it, without hesitation... it's somewhat like a guy's habit of buying things.. i don't really flit here and there... though since i tend to be kind of stingy and scrimp on every penny... sometimes i do so.... but either than that....

so when i was chatting with my parents, then it dawned on me.. i've always been contradicting since i was young... As mentioned before.. I am a sort of a weird species...

People always say men are from mars, and women from venus, and i was saying, that since i understand both, considerable well, that makes me an alien from another planet.. hopefully earth ahaha...

so yes, back again to me being a weird species... apparently, me being of this weird species, is one of the main reasons people don't understand me, which i don't understand why, because I'm as plain as day, talkative to boot... but i digress...

and then, it dawned on me... i have always been sort of contradicting even as a child... I don't really like shopping per say... but if it's shopping for food, i don't mind... i don't mind if i shop when i need to, but i was always quick.. maybe it's because of my body size, that as long as it is an S or XS i will fit, and look fine... but i bought clothing fairly fast and easy, like a boy....

I liked to wear skirts, and tie ribbons.... but i also liked to climb trees and run around....

i liked soft toys and dolls, but when i play with my dolls... i remember that i was ermm, playing some sort of action adventure with them... i don't know.. i can't really remember, but it's like.. you know, normal girls, as i found out when playing dolls with my neighbours and cousins.. would like their dolls to go to a ball and meet their prince, live happily every after...

Well, i have that storyline as well, but where's the fun being the damsel in distress? so my dolls, will have their own adventure.. fight the evil witch or whatever.. well something like that... A bit like shounen....

girls liked... stuff like sailormoon and some didn't find dragon ball that appealing...

well, ermm, i liked sailormoon.. the anime & manga in general, but not the lousy crybaby main character... i liked the other characters who were strong and independent.. and well tuxedo mask? haha, but i think i liked dragon ball a tad more... the fighting was more interesting...

that's enough examples.. i think everyone gets my drift... I've been sort of contradicting since i was a child till now...

but people just don't get it, like for example, i once told a friend, i m the kind that when i shop, i see, i like, i buy (this is sort of like the female side, and that's where you get those shopoholics...). the next time i went shopping with her, i saw something i liked, but too me it wasn't really a necessary item, or that affordable.. and she was egging me, asking me, why aren't i buying it....

sometimes this makes me wonder.. must i really state everything clearly? must i say... i see, i like, i buy.. IF it's affordable and necessary??(the affordable and necessary, is kind of to the male side... that's why men can't understand why some women need 20 pairs of shoes when we all only wear one, and for the life of me, i can't understand either...) i mean it's like... duh... it's common sense, why don't you people get it?

it's like me saying... ermm... i don't like to eat....... errr.... bitter gourd... but guess what? i still eat it..... i will eat it, when i have no choice... and well it's common sense as well, i don't eat it, cause i don't like bitter stuff... so if you cook it in a way that is not bitter i will eat it... i mean, i have lacunas/exceptions..... why can't people use common sense to see it? it's as clear as day, staring straight back at you....

i mean if i said, "i HATE bitter stuff", now that is an altogether different context.. then, i wouldn't even eat the stuff, and would spit it out if i ate it.. well more so due to the bitter taste which my delicate taste buds are not accustomed too.

I don't like coffee... i don't like the smell, don't like the taste... but guess what.. there are times that i actually drink the stuff, and eat the beans... so what does that make me? i don't think i'm a hypocrite... it's just that you people can't see the lacunas..

so when i say, i hate cigarette smoke, or cigarettes in general, you won't see me smoking one, ever, and i try to avoid the smoke like the plague... maybe it's because i'm allergic, but still... now that is where there isn't any place for loopholes..

so let's say another example.. sorry satoshi kun, but i'm using you as an example...

let's say for example.. i don't like satoshi kun, (i like him okay, i don't dislike him...it's an example....) so what? people actually expect me to avoid him like the plague? Talk dirt about him?(bear in mind it is dislike, not hate, heck, even if you hate your boss, you are still forced to work for your boss, unless you can find another job with an equal or better pay.... there are lacunas in everything...)

Sorry, but i don't do that.. even if i don't like him, if i have to talk to him.. I'm not going to be rude, I'll be civil, and friendly, though I'll be sort of cold, because I'm wary, it's sort of like a self protection mechanism.... Just because i dislike a person, doesn't mean that I'll bitch about that person...

But if people asked me, i will tell the person who asked me his bad points.. to me, i'm sort of like warning people.. like for example.. (it's a GOD DAMMNED FREAKING EXAMPLE..IT'S TOTALLY UNTRUE!!!) don't do coursework with him, cause he won't lift a finger... i mean, i'm not going around just telling any Tom, Dick or Harry.. i'm telling the person that asked me, or raised the issue with me.... but i just don't get you people..

The females in general, are especially the ones to just jump on the bandwagon straight away, and are always the one who are pointing out. just because i say this, or that, they take it at face value.. without analysing and seeing the lacunas...

So how can i not be wary of them? i have to watch what i say with them, because they take it all at face value... it's irritating on my part, not to say the least, and frustrating, that they don't understand though we are of the same sex.. sometimes i get so exasperated that i wonder where have their brains gone... and constantly left wondering if they even use them....

But again i stress, that not all females are like that.. there are some who are of the same sort of species as me, and we get along fine... and some that are so-so...

As for the guys, i don't know...

They don't actually say anything, and i doubt that they understand... but i guess, that's where they hugely differ from the females.. no matter what I say and do, they still take me as me, and accept me, they aren't so critical like the Venus species, the Martians, just take me as they know me, caring for friends, nice and sociable, they aren't so nitty gritty picky into everything, so what if i don't like coffee but still drink it? that doesn't affect my character, I'm still nice and sociable... (i hope this is how they think.... haha)

See where the line is drawn between the Martians and the Venus... err Venuses?? haha... The guys are more easy going, and they don't care about all this nitty picky stuff, heck if you asked them, what is my favourite drink, i can tell you the guys will all go Milk, ask a female and she will say, ?Dutch lady full cream milk..

This is the huge difference between them, and unfortunately for me... guys aren't as sensitive as the female species, so most of the time it gets disappointing, when the don't realize a thing, though it's okay that the girls realize, but well, they will be nitty picky on it, something which i don't like... as they say, you can't have your cake and eat it too....

So as an earthling, i am the minority, and i do not take nicely to being marginalised, unfortunately, it isn't easy to find other earthlings to rally together to form a party to fight for our rights... so, i guess i just have to stay misunderstood, because all humans are selfish, and always place themselves first, they won't bother trying to understand others, unless if it's to their beneficial interest... and i guess, I'm just not a beneficial interest to them...

**

On another note, a lot of people are going to ask me to shut up or go to hell, due to the next rant...

I find it totally scandalous that they make clothing too big...

I think one of the main reasons i don't really like to shop, is not only because of the exorbitant prices, but also because of the exorbitant sizes...

I don't understand.. My BMI is 19.2, that is quite good, means my body weight and height are in harmony... But when it comes to clothings, and shopping for them, nay... even for shoes.. i am more often then not, reduced almost to tears...

First shoes... Asian shoemakers/suppliers, are brainless dimwits, who think that the biggest size that an Asian female feet will grow is 7, never have they thought that there are the minority of females, with feet bigger than a size 7... this makes shoe shopping hell...

i can't find cheap nice shoes, because they don't come in my size.... if i do find one in my size.. it's most probably ugly or uncomfortable... if i do find one which is nice and comfortable, the price tag attached on it, makes me totally uncomfortable....

see why i don't like to shop for shoes??

now on to clothes, yes, i know, a lot of people will start throwing rotten eggs and vegetables at me, but i must voice out my opinion... it is my right to do so...

And i will state it again, it is SCANDALOUS to make clothings so big....

yes, the majority of women will beg to differ, they say the clothes are just nice... i digress...

it's no fun for me, when i have to shop for clothes, find something I like, only to find that it doesn't fit, because it is an M size.. so okay.. i will head on to the S only to meet the same fate.. it is irritating when they don't come in XS...especially when i like the blouse, and really wish to buy it...

big sized women will say the same, though their case is contrary to mine, but the irritation we feel is the same... yes, i look nice in almost everything i wear, i'm proud of that... and yes i am an S size, (proud of that too) and i am happy for that..seriously...

But i am UNHAPPY when i can't even fit into an S and need a non existent XS!! well, not that i'm complaining about my body size, i know I lack in a certain department, but my body size is just nice, it's perfect to me, and that's important..

i just wished that they would make more shoes and clothes my size, which are nice and affordable.. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there with this problem.. and well we as the minority, ought not to be marginalised....

-Oracl3-

Title: Thanks a lot Satoshi kun (Honto ni arigatou satoshi kun).. My parking is really terrible/dreadful... (Watashi no Parukingu/Parking wa cho osoroshii)

Thanks again ccy, for graciously training my driving... I think I did much,much worse today than the other day....

Ermm... driving wise..... i think I'm still fine (I'll leave it to him to decide..)... because there are the rare moments where i drive the auto proton car.... changing gears up.. i.e. from first to second to third.. I'm fine..

Changing down.. is a little bit problematic.. since I lack coordination.. but I managed to do it a few times today.... I think.... That's the problem when you can't multi-task.. it's embarassing to be a female sometimes...

Parking wise (& 3 point turn wise)... i only have two words for myself... "I Suck!!" I'm relatively calm, when it's ccy sitting next to me when driving..when it's my dad or sister.. i feel kind of pressured... don't ask me why.. but i just feel that way.. maybe it's because he just releases such a calm aura?? haha but I digress...

Well today he taught me the 3 point turn.. and parking.. not side parking but the normal parking where you just turn in.....

Now.. for the 3 point turn, i haven't done that since i passed my exams 5 years ago...(and i was relatively good, when i was taking lessons.... but that was on a driving circuit...) as for the parking.. i haven't done it for..... 4 years? or was it 3? and i last did it with the proton..(i.e the auto car)..

But i seriously suck at it.. i don't know which way to turn... can't judge... and worse of all... sort of panicked, when he made me park next to a van, when i was reversing, i was too close... Gah scary for me...

Having to squeeze between cars which are double parked.. is another one of my pet peeves.. err phobia... Sigh... maybe they should invent some sort of stimulation game, for useless drivers like me....

Let's call it... The Training Game for Malaysian Drivers.. where the game involves....

Well the usual stuff, with the Malaysian additions such as: double parked cars... cars, not giving way after you've put on your signal for more than 5 minutes... and avoiding Mat Rempits (illegal racers).... among others...

-Oracl3-

Ecchi no hentai, kaisan. Begone you peverted weirdo....

Well, at least that's what i hope it meant....

You know, often i wonder, is it just me? or is it really happenning.. Sometimes, i really had to start questionning myself... am i overly preceptive? in Malaysian language, that would read as Perasaan...

i usually take the train alone to class, and i noticed such incidents happen usually on weekends.. Now fear not, for i have not been groped or what not.. and read on, to hear my experience....

Rarely, though it happens, and it's annoying... i get this certain weirdo...... who makes me super uncomfortable, and it's so damn irritating.. Now i don't mean to be racist or anything, but so far all this weirdos all look indian or malay to me....

Okay, so here's what happens most of the time.. as i said the ocurrences are rare, it has happened only about 3 times so far.. this is the 3rd? or is it the 4th? anyway, i don't really keep count... (who want's to remember such things??)

Usually when i board the train.. i'll try to get a seat, cause i'm afraid i will faint or something, being anaemic and all i guess haha.. though more often than not, it's because my bag is heavy, and i'm lazy to stand..

it's perfectly normal for other people to sit next to you on the train, but sometimes you get these weirdos, who seem to like to enroach into your space...

a few times i have been left wondering, why do you have to sit with your legs so damn wide open...? Are you opening a coffee shop??? i mean they sit with their legs wide open and one of their thighs are touching mine..

I don't like being touched by strangers.... and that is the final bottom line.. sure if i have to hug someone at a family gathering or something, but if possible, i do not like touching strangers..

*Though i get cosy with people i'm familiar with, i REALLY, REALLY don't like it, when strangers touch me...

I'm like.. can't you sit more to the other side? or at least close your legs...?

so what do i do? either i bear with it, or i move a little, or i just stand up.. Now this is the part where i feel that i'm overly sensitive.. I've no idea if it's just me, but it feels to me, that those weirdos were doing it on purpose.. and sometimes i catch them glancing at me, from the corner of their eyes..

my irritation surmounts. but i kept it below the surface and acted as cool as ice.. if they were really harrassing me, showing any expression, tends to egg them on, so the best is just to ignore, it's just like why a boy bullies the girl he likes, it's because he wants her attention.. It's the same with these perverts... They get a kick out of your reactions...

Back to the topic...

if i was being overly sensitive, then it could mean that the guy didn't mean it.. but i doubt it.. my defintion of harrasment, is when guys/girls make you feel uncomfortable. And i tend to believe in my intuition, and my intuition says i m being harrassed...

so what is a girl like me to do.. they make it look so innocent, that it would be absurd of me to just suddenly take out a pepper spray or something, to start spraying at them, and it seems like such a trivial issue to just raise, and ask the guy to move. but since it rarely happened, and since they live me alone when i move away from their contact, i let it lay...

But today's was the worse of the whole lot.. the usual stuff, i woke up late because i slept really late the night before.. and was kind of stoned.. i reached the station got on the train..

now this guy.. He looked kind of chinese, but i don't think he is chinese, his skin colour was kind of tan like a malay. but i stil felt that he was anything either than chinese.. i just had that feeling..

he got on the train and saw me, saw an empty seat next to me, and he was the weirdest bunch of them all... he didn't sit immideatly, but seemed to be looking left and right, and hogging the seat, by not allowing others to seat there... i was like.. where on earth does he want to sit... but couldn't be bothered, as i was tired..

finally he sat down.. now, i like to sit near the glass partition, near the door, so that it's easier for me to get out. i.e read as, i'm basically cornered..

he sat next to me, and....... it was the thigh thing yet again..

you know, i don't think you can blame me for being Perasaan.. i mean it's already a few times... and i've always felt uncomfortable.. the best part of it all is... i don't think that i'm that pretty or cute as to invite harrasment, and i do not dress provocatively. Take today for example, i was wearing a turtle neck sweater and jeans... i was basically covered everywhere.. i don't understand these harrassments.. that's why i say, they are weirdos..

Anyway today's one, as i was saying did the thigh thing.. now that wouldn't have been so bad, cause as usual, i'll then flatten myself against the glass panel, and if he still comes close, i would tell him off... but.. yes... you heard the but...

THIS WEIRDO started to stare at me.. i know he was, because unlike the others, he just turned his head blatantly to stare at me.. (does he want to rob me or something on a train full of people??)

inside...i was like "...... okay.... WTF is his problem..." but on the outside, i just stared straight ahead, not even acknowledging his existance..

now usually that worked.. but this weirdo, started leaning nearer to me.. Inside i was like "WTF is his problem??!!"

outside, i gave no hint that he had affected me at all.. and his upper body started to lean more to my side..

Inside i was going "come any closer and meet my fist..." but just to make sure i don't start hitting people for no reason (that's battery and punishable under the law..) so to give myself an excuse of self defence or whatever (honestly, i would have told him off first though, before i let sheer force do its work..)

i squeezed myself against the glass.. during everything, my internal debate.. the simmering irritation, all inside, not a hint on the outside, not even a look at him..

When it seemed obvious that i was ignoring him, and when i moved closer to the glass panel, he suddenly stood up and went else where, to another carriage.. (if he had moved nearer.. honestly, my reflexes might have just made me hit him, or if lucky for him, my mind is faster than my fist, i would have asked him, what is his problem... maybe i should have done that from the start...)

now mind you, we were in between stations... but he didn't go to any door to wait to get off, but to find another seat.. it marked my suspicions even more that he was harrassing me... and since i showed no reaction, and actually moved away from him, he immediatly got up and moved..

if you weren't harrassing me, you would have just sat there.. so isn't he suspicious...?? SO DAMN IRRITATING!!

GAAH!! Why do irritating people like that exist???!!! they should all be ....

He should be caught and thrown into prison before he does even worse things, like flashing, outraging others modesty, or even rape!!! WEIRDO BEGONE!!!!!!!

Anyway, i was warning, xian ai about it on the way home on the train, and i found out that apparently people flash in buses too.... SICK-OSSSSS!!!!!!!

well i had my experience with flashers before. and i think those sick-os who touch you are by far worse... Question remains... why me??? go in disturb other more attractive people.... =.='

Even in the London underground, i never experienced such harrassments..... i mean there were drunk people, fat-drunk-middle aged man.. but at least non touched me...

One was a drunk white collar man, who was asleep, and suddenly jolted awake.. he was drunk.. and he told me he was supposed to change to the jubilee line.. and i was like, but we passed that already.. he.. well i guess tried to whisper to me that he was supposed to change trains lines.. but he jsut leant in whispered, and was leant back again..and i didn't feel harassed..

The second time was the 2 fat man and 2 young punks, who just so happened to meet, the 2 old man... and the old ones tried, to get my attention, but i totally ignored them, and the young ones laughed at the old ones.. saying she doesn't think you are cool..

even i smiled inside on that.. but they were nice.. i didn't feel harassed either... and they later asked me, if the train goes to king's cross... which i confirmed it did, and told them it was their stop when they reached.. they thanked me and got off...

those are ok, they don't touch me, and make no move towards me... and i don't feel any harrassment from them.. and those usually happen late at night when i'm taking the tube after 11pm..

And stuff as mentioned above... happens in broad day light in malaysia.. imagine what our night time is like..

i definitely need a pepper spray... PERVERTED WEIRDO... BEGONE!!!

-Oracl3-

“When you heart’s been poked at one too many times, you start to build an unbreakable wall around it…”

~Ongaku wa yappari sugoi.daisuki~

十三日一月二零零ハ年：日曜日

Today I went to watch the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra with Huey, compared to the last round, it was a much more enjoyable experience, there seemed to be some changes in the members, but the orchestra this round was full of more emotions than the last round. (Violinists are still oh so sexy!! >.<) Today's programme, i might dare to say, since my music education isn't that high, but i believe, based on the composers chosen today, that the performance was mostly from the romantic period, though i m not very sure how to differentiate the music between the periods, but there is always a start for me :)
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Today’s programme

Edward Elgar
The Wand of Youth Suite (Op. 1b)
- March
- The Little Bells
- Moths and Butterflies
- The Tame Bears
- The Wild Bears

Verdict for this 17-minute performance: I can safely say that I love Elgar’s work, well at least the Wand suite

Sergei Rachmaninov
Piano Concerto No. 1 in F sharp minor (Op. 1)
- Vivace
- Andante
- Allegro vivace

Conclusion to this 27-minute performance: Simon Trpceski is a wonderful pianist, this one wasn’t bad, but I like other Rachmaninov works better

Antonin Dvorak
Symphony No. 5 in F
- Allegro ma non troppo
- Andante con moto
- Scherzo (Allegro scherzando)
- Finale (Allegro molto)

A wonderful 40 minute performance which indeed proved to me that the conductor Maestro (Can I call him that?) Kees Bakels, is a wonderful conductor.

Overall, I still feel that the Slovenia Philharmonic Orchestra was better, but the Malaysian Orchestra wasn’t bad either, I think that maybe one of the reasons, the MPO wasn't as enjoyable as in Europe is because the management, doesn’t provide the spectators with more information, all they tell you is; Elgar’s the Wand of Youth Suite, they don’t tell you bout the March or the butterflies etc, so it’s harder to imagine what to feel for…

The only way out I guess is to buy the booklet, which cost 5 bucks, and well, though it does help, I will just be outright honest and say that we still lost to Slovenia’s orchestra, however, Malaysia’s orchestra still has plenty of room for improvement. Keep it up MPO!!

The last time I went, it felt like only those in the first few chairs, like the concert master, the 1st cello etc (non musical people, this kind of means the people with the higher position, meaning they are more skilled, or actually to phrase it, the most skilled of the bunch and thus are placed as the head for their section…) were the only one exhibiting any sort of emotion as they played while the rest were kind of stiff..

But today I was met, with a more smooth flowing orchestra… it could be that my mood wasn’t the best last time, but anyway, I still enjoyed it this time. It was a fun and nice experience, and I m all set for another orchestra soon :p

Michelle’s MSN has a very thought provoking quote to it: “ Faith is taking the first step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” A well said one…

On another note, coming home and having dinner, I was having a little discussion with my mom… Well putting aside the fact that she thinks I m lesbian due to my lack of interest in the opposite sex, we were talking about feelings…

If you asked me, I would say that jealousy is a normal feeling; whether it’s to the person you have special feelings for, or for close friends (sorry but I don’t think that normal friends are capable of extracting such emotions). The fact that we feel jealousy means that we treasure that person, and if I may actually be bold enough to say so, I would say that actually jealousy, could be equated to the fear of losing that person… don’t you think so?

I’m sure everyone at some point has felt jealous about one thing or another, your friend spending too much time with their girlfriend or boyfriend, or spending more time with other friends but you, but I guess in such situations, this is where we do unto others as you would have do unto you…

Well with much thought, that is what jealousy means to me. I’m afraid I will lose my precious so I get angry when my brother snatches him away. But thinking like King Solomon, I would rather not fight over it, lest my precious suffers, so I relent. And I know that I will get my little precious back in the end… Though I am reluctant, I do what I think is best, for the one I care… if it is meant to be yours it will come back to you, right?

But I guess that is how it is, the moment you start to feel that you are no longer jealous (not even a twinge… no matter how much you have accepted it, there’s bound to be a twinge of jealousy…) over the fact that your close friend is hanging out more with someone else than with you.. Then I think that it’s high time, you start re-evaluating your friendship… (guess you weren't that close to start with after all?)

And for the record, before I end, I am quite sure I am not lesbian, I am a pure heterosexual…

I think.. Haha

-Oracl3-

“To cure a broken heart, what you need is loads of love, time and lots and lots of patience…”

I wonder what do you do when you lack patience? =.=’

for 2 years & 2 months... i have been using 未来は身ってる　

and well the reason why i have been so busy of late is because my brother came back with his Japanese girlfriend, so we brought her sight seeing shopping and all, and therefore i was hardly online, i managed to brush up some what on my spoken Japanese, and i learnt a few new words..

and also i learnt that my blog title was grammatically wrong, thus the change, thanks to 純子さん :) so to see the future, or to say that the future can be seen, one must say mirai ga mieru.. i thought that mirai wa mitteru was acceptable.. but she said no.. so there we have it.. pictures and posts of what i ve been up to lately, will be posted later.. as my brother and girlfriend just left today.. have a safe flight :)

and well tommorow classes starts for me, so i don't have much time, but i will see how it goes..
on another note... where the heck is my sister???? =='

Edit: hmm come to think of it, i've had this blog since... 2005? before i used to dabble a bit with htmls, and changed the colour of my blog, intially it was the minima template, and it was white, in 2005, i think, i made it purple in 2006? well i think in 2006 i made it blue, then in 2007 before satoshikun helped me design the current layout.. it was purple..

now that it's 2008.. hmm haha, but i sitll like the current layout, and from what i personally know, it's a lot of trouble to design new designs...

and well for 2008 i did make a major change for the blog in the sense that the title and the url has changed.. so that is all the change you will be getting for 2008, i guess... the poems and stuff that i used last time was around for one and a half years before i changed it when the blog design changed...

so let's see how long Flow will last before i get another muse, (which actually i have, but am lazy to write.. my current muse is snow... :p) and that time.. haha maybe i will ask for help to change the layout again.. till then.. as i said...the only change is the url and blog title.. happy 2008....
~~

sigh what is wrong with the connection? why can't download?? aii...

-Oracl3-

this post is just to release my pent up stress.. yes for once people i am stressed over work!!! go buuy lottery or wtr sure strike wan... to imagine wei sun here can get stressed over studies, the sun must be rising in the west or something.. no, for wei sun to even waste one week of her life, reading up on revenue law.. is something to go buy lottery already, cause she doesn't study until exams...

i plead innocent and i blame reading, there is nothing to do here, so i study == or at least try too...... no Roscoe to play with sigh.... no mamak to go to.... everywhere & everything so expensive all have to multiply by 7... no friend to drive me around.... no friend to go to the non existant mamak to....arghhh..... wasting my life away.... anyway.. back to the source of my stress....

want to know the cause?? bloody freaking revenue law, taht is what it is!!!

for the first time in my law studies, i have read 2 books, the lecture notes, and teh lecture handout, and have no freaking idea what to write!! so screweyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

that is not to say that i've never read more than two books in my past 2 years in law ok, my point is that, for teh first time i don't know what to write.. i mean law is partially crapping right?

jsut get the bloody facts than crap the rest... but i hv no facts..

wtf is Ramsay principle? can someone tell me??!! all the book does is this..

the Ramsay principle

as to the significance of a subsequent sale, perplanned at the time of an earlier transfer, whether by auction of on the stock market, see the discussion in paragraph 5=106 of this suplplement of....

and it goes on.. but it doesn't tell me what is the Ramsay principle, and waht are the requirements.. its pure crap...

it doesn't help that the case for Ramsay is 1979 and that there are oni bout what? less than 10 books in the library which are younger then the 1970s.. doesn't the freaking library update their revenue books.. to top it off i think there are less then 20 revenue law books there.. arghhh.. the notes don;t help much n neither does the damned handout..

SCREW THE DAMNED ESSAY!!! that's what i say....

critically evaluate the new approach my ass...ur new approach started in the ramsay, and well furniss v dawson doesnt tell me much either.. screw them all.. what is there to critically evaluate?

yes i knoe its one confusing area of law.. you know why??!! cos the House of lords din explain it when they first applied it in ramsay, it was just sthg they invented on the spot.. cos in case they din noe.. tax is goverened by statute, there is no common law for revenue.. so wtf is tehre a freaking new approach for!! and then they conveninetly decide to throw it out the window in 1989 arghhh asses!!!!

damn.... wasting my time only cis geram mati aku.. i think i will jsut write some crap and hand it in..or don bother at all and do the next assignment next term.. i think that is easier cos its a prob question anywya.. celaka, waste my time but since i already wrote one page of crap.. might as well continue la.. sigh..

anyway this post is just to lepas geram.. i wanan tidur liao.. to geram n clueless to continue the bloody essay..

besides where got ppl write one page of intro wan? got.. me la... i just wrote one whole page of intro.. based on wtr i gathered fr my 4 sources, on wat the new approach is.. sigh... might as well continue la...

ガンバテね？？まけない！！

-Oracl3-

Sake just means wine.. You know, the rice wine that the Japanese drink. Anyway the reason for this post is that just a few hours ago (1 Gatsu 20 Nichi 2006 Nen. Kinyobi) we, meaning me, Huey, Gene and Meng, celebrated Huey’s birthday. Her birthday is actually on the 28th but she might want to celebrate with her family so, we decided to celebrate it just now. Tonikaku, otanjoubi omedeto Huey chan!! (Anyway happy birthday Huey)

We went to the Japanese restaurant near Atria, the one nesan took me and Meng to eat a few years back.. It’s called Omitsu something hahah, been there a few times, but still can’t remember the name hahah..

Anyway I had unagi bento there, I also had fun, and I guess Huey n Meng had too? Gene was like in outer space half the time, subconsciously wiping the table for the restaurant with his tissue, and the funny thing was that Meng subconsciously followed him to wipe the table too hahaha. Oh, Meng ordered sake, hence the title, he ordered the big one, and as Gene and Meng are driving, and as Meng doesn’t know his alcohol limit, he dared not drink too much, what the heck man, I was like drinking half the bottle liao (lucky it was only 15% plus plus alcohol, I can still manage).. So we chatted, and it was quite fun. After dinner we went to gene’s house to hang out, as Meng needed to talk to his parents bout his future prospects now that his A level’s results are out, he went home first.

Anyway we chatted with Gene’s mum and brother for about an hour and a half, his mum seems happy to see me and Huey, and she even gave us 3 papayas each.. hahah arigatou Kenji no okasan. And apparently, Gene’s bro is a bit weird today, gene said that usually his brother won’t be caught dead in his PJs and yet he was sitting there in his pajamas chatting with us. Hahah his brother like actually quite nice to talk to this round. Usually when I go over the brother just ignore wan lor, go into his room play computer or something. But anyway I had a fun chat. Then at about 11.30 Huey aka Cinderella kekekke (her curfew is 12, mine has been stretched to 12.30 kekekek) Gene had to send her home.

After that as I didn’t want to go home so early, we thought that we would yum cha at SS2 there, mana tau no parking so we went to nearby my house i.e. Ming Tien, and I had watermelon juice while Gene had hot tea. But he said that there were stuff in his tea so he didn’t want to drink it, as he was coughing I couldn’t share my juice hahah so like that lor.

Oh yes, guess whom I met at Ming Tien, Kean Sheng, (unbelievable right??) He was with another guy, (his cousin) and apparently that stupid boy didn’t receive my SMS about SC meeting today at 12.30pm. So anyway we chatted a bit then I asked him why he join SC if he has no intention to go for meetings? And he just mumbled something I couldn’t hear. And said that he didn’t like the politics, hell like I do, but I still help out!! Anyway he asked me to call him tomorrow, or more like miss call him as I said that I had no credit. It’s common courtesy to call people yourself and inform whether you are coming for the meeting you know… Sigh, no comment on that guy….
*That fellow, まあ考え「かんがえ」ことを私はね彼「かれ」はもう好きがありませんで。。かなあ？彼はとても失礼「しつれい」だ私はねそれのような人があまり好きがありません．．.
I mean don’t reply people’s call and SMSes and all, and well a bunch of other things la, he’s also very the misleading. He at first seemed to want to join Taylor’s SAM, then his parents don’t let, when I suggested he go to Sunway he kept mentioning, Taylor’s like he really wants to go there, why? God knows. Then he joined SC, he actually don’t need to join lor, as in school he was a prefect so he doesn’t need a unit beruniform, and in actual fact he doesn’t come for meetings unless I call him to.
What is this man? If you really like scouts, then people don’t need to call you. Then in last year’s campfire, he placed himself in the Decoration Derpartment, the department that I was overseeing, I at first thought that he would stick to Yoong Xiong, (Who was in pioneering?) But, no, he came to my department and just sat around. (Apparently he was there to buy supplies if they needed it as he has a car, but when I needed him he was no where to be found, never answer and recall my calls until I got so fed up with him) In form 5 also he joined the department, (I was the assistant head of the decoration department that time) god knows for what.
If you asked me, what would I think? I think that you can guess… Anyway I don’t want to think too much? Wasting time, such a misleadingng/confusing guy….
*
I almost forgot but seeing that guy reminded me that I need to wake up at 8.30 later to collect the nasi lemak which would be the lunch of the Scouters going for the 8 hour course later. Cause I wanted him to go to SC for transport ma, as I had none. My license expired liao 2hours ago, (it’s now 2am, so my license expires on the 20th) so anyway don’t know la. If he goes, he goes la. And that guy went and coloured his hair…not a bad colour, but don’t know whether it suits him or not, the lighting at Ming Tien wasn’t exactly superb hahha oh ya haahha guess he’s been dying to do that? Hahah cause in form 6 he still had to follow school rules.

Ohya in the afternoon I went for a job interview with Ai kun, at dataran prima. Its kind of like free lancing work, like promoter kind of work (to be a flowerpot/model you need to be at least 170cm tall, I am only like what 163?) anyway, so if there’s like jobs they will inform us, and we will see if we are free then we will go la. You know jobs like handing out flyers, talking to people about the products etc. anyway the interview was quite fun, as the interviewer was quite a friendly guy lor, and well Ai kun and I like cracked a few jokes hahaha…

So ok that’s all for now, I have to wake up early to collect the nasi lemak, and the BLOODY MOSQUITOES, keep sucking my blood… my dry skin has already been making me scratch.. Now added mosquito bite mattaku.. tonikaku, oyasuminasai minna san. Matta ne.

Ps: as I am rushing to sleep I didn’t read through so bear with my mistakes kekekek
-Oracl3-