The smooth surface,
Almost mirror like,
Watching it unknowingly,
I entered its flow,
Unconsciously submerged by it,
Fighting to grasp the sky,
Before being pulled down again,
Following it’s flow,
Unable to turn back,
The road is set;
I shall head to sea,
Can you see the future?
It’s unpredictable
✿Oracl3✿
snitched this off a friend's blog, the news was in 2007, but it's still true and applicable. everything.....
except that contrary to popular beliefs, we don't get paid a lot.. yes, billing 1000 quid an hour? trust me, that 1000 quid goes to the firm not a penny to you..... (although it is supposed to reflect in your bonus... but don't get your hopes up here.... click on the title to go to the original post..)
i guess the only way we'd be rolling in cash is if we owned our own firm, and we suckered every bit out of it hahaha
The juxtaposition of two stories in The Times last week – one reporting that top-flight City lawyers were charging as much as £1,000 an hour for their expertise, another that a quarter of lawyers wanted to leave their profession – raised a pertinent question: just why are those in the legal business so miserable?
The Law Society has recently been trying to provide an answer, but its “quality of life” review, taking the form of workshops, debates and online surveys, has been dragging on inconclusively like a complex fraud case and also seems to have missed some vital evidence from across the pond.
You see, as with everything else, America has been doing lawyer dissatisfaction bigger and better than us for decades. Polls have at various times established that not just a quarter, but up to 40 per cent of US lawyers want to leave their profession; and whereas British lawyers are only just waking up to the fact they are miserable and want to die, their American counterparts have been alert to it since 1989, which saw the publication of Deborah Arron’s Running From the Law: Why Good Lawyers are Getting Out of the Legal Profession.
Indeed, there are now almost more books, articles and websites dedicated to the subject of legal despair than there are American lawyers. Which is saying something, given that the USA has more lawyers than people.
And last week, to help the Law Society get to the point, I spent two bleak days sifting through the literature, a process that made it clear City lawyers are unhappy because of:
1. the dehumanising hours. Remember that bit in The Firm where Tom Cruise’s character is told that if he even thinks of a client in the shower, he should bill it?
Not only can one imagine this actually happening now – lawyers generally charge on the basis of billable hours, and annual targets can be brutal – but the shower might even be taken in the office. Many City firms offer beds and washrooms in offices to enable staff to work longer.
While those entering the profession may be prepared for this – an excessive workload is seen as a rite of passage – many don’t seem to realise that their reward for selling the best years of their lives is simply the privilege of being allowed to sell the rest of their lives in the capacity of partner.
Which, of course, negates the only advantage of being a lawyer: the cash. Leaving aside the question of whether money can make you happy, it is pretty obvious it won’t if you have no time to spend it.
2. the yawning gap between their intelligence and the mind-numbing nature of their work. The word “lawyer” may trigger images of attractive people making clever arguments in wood-panelled courtrooms, but most spend the majority of their time in back offices drafting and redrafting small print that almost no one will read. At least if you flipped burgers for a living you’d have the satisfaction of giving people momentary pleasure.
3. the yawning gap between the ideals of those entering the profession and the reality. Some go into law because they dream of fighting injustice, but discover on entering that most of what lawyers do benefits big business.
Others enter the profession because they are seduced by the apparent glamour of the trade, as portrayed in Ally McBeal and LA Law, only to find that the work is about as glamorous as getting a verruca (cf point 2). Then there are those graduates – as much as 47 per cent of the profession, according to a recent survey – who drift into the job because they don’t know what else to do, assuming vaguely that it might be fun, and find on entering that it is about as amusing as breaking a limb in a traffic accident (cf point 1). Repeatedly. For 90 hours a week.
4. the cumulatively lowering nature of the work. We all end up being shaped by our careers. Journalists become rude, incorrigible gossips. Police officers start believing what they read in the Daily Mail. Lawyers, meanwhile, become competitive, aggressive, judgmental, analytical, adversarial, emotionally detached, paranoid of being sued and, worst of all, pessimistic. Being a good lawyer involves assuming that people will do the most awful things and that treachery is to be expected. It’s inevitable that this negativity eventually seeps into their personal lives.
5. the vortex of hatred that envelops them entirely. I’m not only referring here to those surveys that put lawyers among politicians and journalists as the least popular of professionals. I’m also referring to the fact that lawyers despise each other (cf point 4), despise themselves (cf points 1, 2, 3,4), are despised by their clients (for charging too much, not always winning cases) and, in return, despise their clients back.
Handling others people’s problems, unless you are Mother Theresa or Esther Rantzen, eventually becomes tedious, especially when most of those problems relate to money.
6. the self-inflicted nature of their suffering. Because of the way City firms work, most senior lawyers, as well as having to spend too long doing too much dull work, are under intense pressure to attract new business. When dissatisfaction kicks in, it’s amplified by the fact that the work making them unhappy is self-imposed. It’s like waking up to find someone drilling a hole into your head, only to realise the sadist wielding the Black ‘n’ Decker is actually you.
Looking back over this list, I realise little of it is going to elicit much sympathy. Somehow, I can’t see the Red Cross diverting resources away from Darfur to come to the rescue of professionals earning £1,000 an hour.
But human misery isn’t relative, and I can’t help thinking these problems could be solved. All City firms need to do is take a moment or two to take a good look at themselves. But that must be difficult when time is (so much) money.
FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Kiss Me Goodbye - Angela Aki
HOMETOWN: Where I am right now
IN LOVE WITH: hmm~ if you are talking that type of love.. no one
JUGGLE: Nope. but attempted to haha
KILLED SOMEONE: Sometimes I wish I did.....
LONGEST CAR RIDE: Down South to the border of the next country
MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate... I guess
NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2
ONE WISH: To be happy and contented with what I had, have and will have
PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: ermm.... cousin? to pick me up from the bank....
REASON TO SMILE: That no matter how bleak the world, and no matter how alone i feel, and no matter how much others can't help me, there are people who still love me.
SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Verdi - Trovatore
TIME YOU WOKE UP: 10.30 a.m.
UNDERWEAR COLOR: Variety
VEGETABLE(S): Anything, depending on the way its cooked
WORST HABIT: too many to mention... thinking everyone should know as much as I do, going to bed at ungodly/irregular hours... procrastinator.. bla bla...
X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: My left ankle, friends pulled me down some steps by accident, and injured my already weak ankle.... sigh....
My cousin who recently returned from the UK is a graduate in accountancy. I believe she’s got a masters too…
So we were chatting away, and she was telling me that she’s going to start her part time job sometime soon.
I guess accountants, being accountants, she calculated how much she would be earning per hour.. So out of jest, I asked her to calculate mine.. And ended up psychiatrically damaged & physically shocked!
Dividing what I earn (my take home pay only) by the average of 20 days, since I supposedly don’t work weekends, and the fact that my firm’s office hours isn’t the 9-5, i.e. 8 hour routine but a 9 hour routine since it is from 830 to 530.
(Actually doesn’t that make it a 22.5 days thing? Since the extra hours for the five days of the week equates to the 5 hours which was the Saturday half day thing? Which adds up to an average of an extra 20 hours a month… Hmmm… That's like 2 and a half working days more right? hence the 22.5 days thing...)
And from the results of the calculation..... I guess you could say that I'm earning peanuts.... (I pity those earning less than peanuts/having to divide their peanuts with more hours than I) Fortunately? Or is it perhaps unfortunately? I'm not a monkey... Sigh...
-Oracl3-
Edit: Sigh, Please don't misconstrue. I've accepted reality a long time ago, it's just that I blame the government for all the inflation...
Enjoy the ride. There is no return ticket George Carlin on aging! (Absolutely Brilliant) IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone...
But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3.Keep learning.! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil'sfamily name isAlzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6... The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And if you don't send this to at least ... people - who cares?But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!! Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '..man,what a ride!'=
Interesting read - is this what is commonly referred to as the reality of life?
Singapore girl wins Commonwealth essay prize! MUST READ TO SAFEGUARD YOUR VERY OWN FUTURE.* A TASTE FOR THINGS TO COME??????
A 15-YEAR-OLD Singaporean, competing against 16-> 18-year-olds, has won the top prize in a writing contest that drew 5,300 entries from 52 countries...
In the annual Commonwealth Essay Competition, Amanda Chong of Raffles Girls' School (Secondary) chose to compete in the older category and won with a piece on the restlessness of modern life.
Her short story, titled What The Modern Woman Wants, focused on the conflict in values between an old lady and her independent- minded daughter.
'Through my story, I attempted to convey the unique East-vs-West struggles and generation gaps that I felt were characteristic of young people in my country,' said Amanda, who likes drama, history and literature and wants to become a lawyer and a politician...
Chief examiner Charles Kemp called her piece a 'powerfully moving and ironical critique of modern restlessness and its potentially cruel consequences' .
The writing is fluent and assured, with excellent use of dialogue. Amanda gets (S$1,590). A Singaporean last won the top prize in 2000, said Britain 's Royal Commonwealth Society, which has been organising the competition since 1883. Singaporeans also came in second in the 14 to 15-year-old category, and fourth in the under-12s. Other winners included students from Australia , Canada and South Africa
What the Modern Woman Wants... By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen
The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seat belt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, 'Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.'
Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand. 'Finance', 'Liquidation' , 'Assets', 'Investments' ... Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it.
Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. ..... 'I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.
'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat.. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter..
'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America . There have been a lot of problems.'
The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important.
Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.
'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for 'networking' , Chinese ones being easily forgotten.
'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.' Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she did not comprehend.
'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!' The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence.
The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's side.
'Ma, I'll wait outside.. I have an important phone call to make,' she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense. The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods. Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says... She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.
What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness.. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.
The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smoldering ashes.
She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son. Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had ticked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name.
Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted.
Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen. She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood.
She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu, old fashioned... . She wanted her mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that. The Gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl's roots and now she stood faceless with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.
Her daughter had forgotten her mother's value. Her wants were so ephemeral, that of a modern woman. Power, wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques and yet her daughter had not found true happiness. The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth, everything she had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.
The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter now that she had looked out of the temple gates. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there – down.
The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life.
Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty souless shell at the altar. The old woman watched the joss stick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing.
Modern woman nowadays, the old lady signed in resignation, as she bowed to the east bone final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder whey they cannot find it. Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter's face.
An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sown the seeds of happiness. They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not to fast as she had done before. ‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. "I don't know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay us seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road .. Once we move into our apartment, we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves... .."
The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. "We'd get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out – but once the maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that the apartment is rather small. There won't be space... We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There's one near Hougang – it's a Christian home and a very nice one."
The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. I"ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! Hardly have time for you, you'd be happier there." "You'd be happier there, really." her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself.
This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offering to cling tightly to, she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag and her fingers trace the white seat.
Ma, her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. "Is everything okay?
What had to be done, had to be done. "Yes" she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you happy,' she added more quietly.
‘It's for you, Ma! You will be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda. 'I knew everything would be fine.' Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier.. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; money, status, career, love, power and now freedom without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down........
Yes she was free. Her phone butted urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. "Stock 10% increase." Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her and while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible and she did not see her in tears.
So fellow friends, save enough for your old age and don't try to rely on your children. Your responsibility is to give them the necessary education/training and life after that is theirs. If they chose to look after you, it is a bonus and thank the gods for it.
got this from my mom in the mail... guess that's how life is now adays, but i hope i don't end up like that..
I'm done with the twilight series, well was done yesterday. so all 4 books gone..
What can I say about it.. hmmm~ well... the English was okay, fairly simple to understand, not the type where you've to reach for a dictionary every few words, that made reading it quite fast as well I guess... simple english... i didn't feel the need to reach for the dictionary at all actually...
Story wise... if I weren't crazy bout vampires (and supernatural stuff, and mysteries etc..)... I might not have picked it up?
Writing wise... ermmm.... okay, I guess? it was in the first person point of view... words/sentences used were... very teenager-like... some things felt a bit stupid like.. "a scream wanted to escape my throat but for Edward's hand" (something along those line if you get my drift) or something like that... but ermm.. I can't place my finger on it.. but I find lines like that stupid.... maybe I read too much Tolkien? =.=' i need more dramatic description...? haha
I mean storywise, if you tell me a huge vampire coven is coming after you... that's okay... but.. ermm.. starting from about the 3rd book onwards..? the writing style.. didn't agree that much with me... or maybe it was the plot.. I think it was the plot... somehow it didn't appeal that much to me...
the first book was more intruiging.. suddenly i get werewolves and crap.. that was all still okay.. the way she got me in suspense... by first describing an animal bigger than a bear.. which we later find out to be wolves... but not any wolves.. but those wolves.. and those people... but going on to the 3rd and 4th book.. i felt the plot a little weak, and sort of rushed...
and a bit crappy.. why did her powers suddenly became so damn powerful??? like.. errr..? i find that part kind of irritating... (too cliché perhaps? the reason why i don't watch much anime anymore, you know dragon ball and stuff.. no offense though...) whatever, it's a supernatural story.. so yea.. if you read it with an empty head... (it's suitable for leisure reading) it's nice.. overall, it's okay.... (once i overlooked a number of stuff, which I had decided to, to make reading more pleasurable) so still not that bad a read, if you love supernatural stuff, and vampires like moi haha..
It's been 24 hours since separation.... is he eating well? is he sleeping well? does he pine for his mommy? I know he's in good hands though, so it's a relief.. and guess what?
My dad misses the dog more than I do hahahha.. he can be so cute sometimes... :p
...though you prefer to think of yourself as misunderstood. You know the world would be a better place if they'd only let you be in charge of it, and if they don't appreciate your genius by themselves you're willing to make them. You've got good hair, a secret base and an ambivalent relationship with the bishounen hero. You've got the money, the women, the best mecha and your own private army, but you still lose in the end to some jumped-up kid with spiky hair. There is no justice.
ekk.. the character in the picture looks like a villain from chrono crusade...this is originally what i got... the rest below are just the rest i checked out... but me villain? Mua??!! haha... there is no justice!! haha
******
Hoeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
You're a Magical Girl!
You're sugar-hyped, caffeine-hyped, and permanently genki-er than a whole busload of Disney characters on crack. You eat too much, you're a total klutz, and somehow this makes you an ideal candidate for saving the world. If you're really unlucky, you get to get naked in an embarrassing transformation sequence in every single episode, with only a few sparkles and pastel blobs to cover your dignity.
You're male, but people often mistake you for the other option. You're unfeasibly thin and pretty and always have perfect hair, often surrounded by sparkles/sakura/roses. You almost certainly have a tragic backstory which involves one or more of your parents, and are liable to have a Tragic Destiny (TM). You were almost certainly invented by a female mangaka, are worshipped by a female audience, and your life is characterised by periods of extreme pain and angst. Sucks to be you.
You might be a sub-category of bishounen, but this hardly matters since you don't notice anything that didn't feature in the last edition of Guns'n'Ammo magazine. You have been trained since an unfeasibly early age to be a machine of death and destruction. If you've noticed an annoying girl following you around and repeatedly getting into danger and requiring rescue recently, run like hell - she's probably your love interest...
You're small, you're cute, you're fluffy. You're the essential schoolbag accessory for every magical girl; you're probably sitting on the bishounen's shoulder; you hang around the base and provide comic relief from the mecha pilots; and once an episode you get squished by the Villain. You've somehow become necessary for every self-respecting anime series, although your plot functions are negligible. We all hate you, you know.
For my birthday some years back, the two dear souls awarded me with a koala wrist rest for the computer with little glow in the dark hearts in it...
It's lasted me some good years... am sorry for my abuse, am really am.. I loved the thing.. cute to look at.. nice to poke and squeeze... ahh.. squeeze....
Anyway... it's a little soft plastic koala filled with a sort of gel and little pink glow in the dark hearts, and it was on my table for years? Yeah, I think years... till......
Today....
Was ermm.. utilizing it and then its little stopper popped out, spilling its goo onto my table and the floor.. it was fun to play with?? (amidst screams from my mom that it was disgusting and possibly held some dangerous substance in it and insisting i clean it up) but it looked plain ol' disgusting as well.... I should have taken pictures of it before I cleaned it up... (Unfortunately I will have to lay off my mom's description of what it looked like, but I will say that between what she compared it to, she thinks it looks more like mucus haha disgusting!! so she says :p kekeke)
I saved some of the glow in the dark hearts, but all suggestions to re-inject the goo into koala was stubbornly rejected by my mother, so it was bye-bye koala...and that's the end of my koala, shall need to shop for another one.. or.. ermm hint, hint? haha.. (I think I'll shop for a cute doggie wan haha)
On another note, legal aid today was fun.. (usually is..) and we planned to go somewhere together once our stint is over... and to decide.. gosh.. put a bunch of lawyers-to-be in a room to decide something and you get funny things like elections, re-elections, appeal courts, supreme courts and consent judgements coming out... haha.. hilarious..
Earlier, a few (namely a friend and I???) of us had decided on the date before hand.. then we raised a meeting.. (Law people might find this more humorous? sorry...)
First, we ran elections to chose a place?...(we were torn between two locations) and had elections, by-elections, and re-elections? (we joked that we were worse than Perak haha since we kept shuffled between the two locations ) = We voted for a place amongst ourselves (there were only 10 out of 14 of us.. so we were still the majority...) again and again, and again..
The decision went from the high court, to the court of appeal to the federal court and supreme court (meaning, we had serious problems deciding where to go..)
it was a 5-5 vote so we gave our team leader the concession to vote again, and..... the results were out!!
Having decided on the venue, we decided on the restaurant, and another round of elections (voting ) begun.
That done a consent judgement (a sort of an agreement, but it cannot be varied or set aside, unless under reasonable circumstances, because a consent judgement is usually given by the court when both parties are agreeable to something) was entered with everyone signing.... (Yes, the crazy bunch we are, we actually signed it.. all of us..)
Reason was, we didn't want anyone to start changing their minds when the appointed date came..
And we joked that we will have to pass a motion (another round of voting, 75% agreeing?) to determine our plans of a monthly meet up once our dock brief programme (programme by the legal aid centre where we have to go to court and mitigate for criminals) ends..
To everyone who celebrates it.. (Though it doesn't really matter if you do or don't, just enjoy the festivities!! XD)
""
Yes!! Rejoice for spring is here..... Well at least in China it is...... Short history to Chinese New Year?
If I'm not wrong, Chinese Astrologists used to calculate when spring would be coming every year, and we would celebrate, the coming of a new year, of a new harvest now that the harsh winter has passed....
However, Legend has it that, every certain number of days, this certain monster would come out... the monster was called 年 (nien, meaning year in Chinese) This monster would come every certain number of days and wreck havoc to the village for 15 days, leaving behind a trail of destruction.
So finally some wise old men... or so they say, they could have been young guys for all I know.. but apparently, this bunch of wise old men,or maybe an old man? Discovered that ,this Nien creature... Doesn't like the colour red, nor does it fancy loud sounds, and also it comes out every 300 or so days... (or at the beginning of spring??)
Hence before the predicted time, the old men/young guys/old man told the villagers to deck themselves and their houses in red and to release fireworks, for the period of 15 days... and lo and behold the Nien creature never returned... So every year they celebrate it as such........ THE END...
That's one of the stories.... I guess haha...
Okay, enough with that.. now it's the year of the Ox...... which.... I've no idea what the significance is.. Since it changes on a yearly basis.. but next year is the Tiger year, so hence the recession..... Why a recession every time it's the year of the Tiger.. Apparently because 虎, in Chinese is pronounced as "fu" which means bitter.. hence a bitter life.. Sigh......
Curious souls about the Chinese Astrology.... why do we have 12 animals and why is there no cat???
The story has it that.. one day Buddha invited all the animals for a celebration/banquet... or you may replace that with the Jade Emperor (A Heavenly being, Chinese has a lot of deities) invited all the animals to enter a race... (Am not very sure about the racing thing... But I do know about the Bhuddha celebration....Anyway...) For these events only 12 animals showed up... and they were (in sequence) the Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig.
Thus the years of the Chinese Zodiac, were named in accordance with which animal arrived at the banquet first/ finished the race first...
Sometimes we get people asking, why isn't there a cat? If there's the rat and dog, where's the cat?
Well story has it that.. The Rat and the Cat used to be the best of mates.. But somehow when the Banquet/Race invitations were sent out.. The rat being the smart little thing it was, realised that there was bound to be some prize involved or something.. So being the cunning little thing it was.. it told the Cat that the celebrations/race was a day after the actual date.. so the Cat naturally believing it's good friend, slept through the day in which the celebration/race was held, and therefore did not make it..
The Cat upon realising it was tricked, vowed vengeance upon the rat.. and thus till today.. Cats chase and kill mice....
Another thing about the story was.. the Rat being such a small creature, how could it reach the celerbation/finish the race first...?
Well, the Rat being the cunning little being it was... rode on the back of the Ox, and just as when the Ox was about to reach the finishing line. it jumped ahead of the Ox thus being the first creature...
So now we have it that, a person being born in the year of the rat will be cited as cunning and smart... as is the same with all the other animal years.. Apparently we take on some of the characteristics of the animal in which the year we were born in...
And there we have it.... Some...little stories on our Chinese New Year...
When it first started playing I was like hey.... I know the place.. so I restarted it to read the front part, to know the venue.. and I was like damn! I really miss the place... Sigh....
I used to stay at my cousin's at Liverpool St... So, yes, am very familiar with the Liverpool street station... XD
Damn I really miss London.. The transportation system there was way better than ours.. as in more connected.. minus the "Man under the train" every now and again.....
T-mobile did a really good advertisement.. I think it must have taken quite a bit of work.. since they can only practise between about 1-2am till about 5-6 am.. that's the only time the stations are closed...
I still remember having to pick my sister up at about 12 at night haha... it was really that safe, that I could just run out like that to catch a train/The Underground to go get her at Victoria station... I miss that sense of security.... (However, there are still crooks & drunks, so you still have to be careful....)
Don't ever ask me to do it here.. I might never come home alive..... =.='
1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'6? I think.. maybe... how much is 163cm in feet? I wanna grow another 5 inches.. but sigh.. sadly... okay 5 inches is too much.. how bout 2 & a half inches? or at least 5 centimetres more???
2. Have you ever smoked pot? Nope.. Never will, hate the stuff... ermm wait unless you count second hand.. cause when I was in Reading, then I smoked it a lot, no thanks to my neighbour...
3. Do you own a gun? Plastic counts?
4. Who's your best friend? Best friend? Man's best friend? Well, best friends know who they/he/she/it are....
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? No such experience, and no to friend's parents as well...
6. What do hot dogs make you think of? Dachshunds?
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Ermm, Jingle bell, bat man smells? haha
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tea, to wake me up...
9. Can you do push ups? Yeap, and I do them guy style, not girl style.. what's with the knees and all?
10. Do you consider Pluto a planet? Honestly, I've never been there, so I don't know anything besides those reported by those NASA people.. so if they say it's a planet it's a planet, if it's not a planet, then it's not... Besides, who made the definition for planets? If I say anything bigger than 10 km in diameter is a planet, then it's a planet right?? or wrong???
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Hmm.. Don't really wear any.. ermm.. Earrings, rings and necklaces? Preferable made out of pure metal, so that I won't get allergic, and also so that I don't have to keep taking them on and off, but I can just continue wearing them?? Well, yeah.. I'm lazy...
12. Do you like painkillers? Like painkillers? If only they don't kill my liver...
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Ermm.. do I even have one? Well, someone once told me.. my smile was attractive? and some said confidence is important? I don't know....
14. Do you own a knife? Ermm.. Pen knife? Kitchen Knife???
15. Do you have A.D.D? Errr.. Don't think so.. maybe.. haha
16. Middle Name? Wei...
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. I want to sleep, But can't due to the tea, and am therefore sitting here doing this...
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Tea... ermm... milk?
20. What time did you wake up today? 1015 am.. had to meet my cousin to catch a movie :)
22. Current worry? None that I can think of.. ermm.. maybe the pile of clothes I need to iron, the room and bathroom I need to clean.. The manga I have yet to translate.. The fleas from the neighbouring dogs...
23. Current hate? Errmmm.. inconsiderate humans
24. Favourite place to be? Home is where the heart is...
25. Least favorite place to be? Prison, Hell...
26. Where would you like to go? Japan, UK
27. Do you own slippers? yeah... 2 pairs...
28. What shirt are you wearing? Some tube top from Scarlet?
29. Do you burn or tan? Tan... I guess that's good haha...
30. Favorite color(s)? White, Silver, Blue, etc. Too lazy to mention...
31. Would you be a pirate? That would be fun!! Though.. I think reckless killing would be out.. and ermm.. robbing poor people would be out.. Can I be a sort of Robin Hood Pirate??
32. Favourite alcoholic drink you've had? Sherry, Magarita, Baileys.... Schmirnoff ICE [Think that's how you spell it]
33. What is the last song you listened to? Sunny Day, by Manami Konishi... The ending song of the movie Accuracy of Death...
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Ghosts...
35. What's in your pockets right now? O2, Co2, N, .... Well, just air...
36. What's your natural hair color? Dark brown gua.... or black le...
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Errr....
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Torn Ligament...
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3... but we usually use 2? but I don't really use them at all...
41. Who is your loudest friend? Ermm.. friend? ermm.. They are all so quiet.. compared to me that is.. ermmm... Well the loudest person I know to date is, Fung Chuan....??
42. Who is your most silent friend? Errr..... Cheese?? Maybe...
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Ermm.. do people publicly declare crushes?? But yeah.. I think maybe... there's one.. or two.. maybe.. does my precious count? oh wait.. he loves his mama haha... But heck, how would I know.. People don't wear a sleeve on them saying.. I've a crush on so & so.. haha.. besides I'm so blur... I don't get things like that haha
44. Do you wish on shooting stars? Never seen one in my life................ Yet...
45. What is your favorite book? Ermm.. quite a number to mention.. just check my profile haha
46. What is your favorite candy? I don't think I have one... Not really a fan of sweets... but there is this one Japanese Sweet that I like.. called ふくの餅/fuku no mochi..
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding Holst's Jupiter (The Planets)? it's a classical piece.. Cause I think Bach's Air on G string has been over used...
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? The journey to the west, from joe hisashi, played in もののけ姫/Princess Mononoke.. I blame Tokien?? haha.. or Dvořák: Symphony #9 In E Minor, B 178, "From The New World" - Largo 2nd Movement is fine too..
49. What were you doing at 12:00 AM last night? Chatting at the mamak with Xin Yin, Wei Hao, Kevin Wong, Xian Ai, Thomas, Mel, Xian Qing [Xian Ai's sister]
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? When I woke up today? ermm.. "Gah.. 5 more minutes..."
-Oracl3-
I know I've other things to post about.. but lacked mood.. so well.. there we have it.. Did a review on Mamma Mia the movie, check post below for link...
I'll post the pictures from the Thursday's karaoke session [210808] later... for now.. i thought this was interesting, when i visited mel's blog..
Though i don't think it's that accurate... =.=' i looked through the other numbers below.. and while it seems that I might mostly be a 2, i'm also part, 7,9,6,1 haha... maybe it's because people change that's why :p i'm a mixture of 5 haha.. well, unless I could read the rest.. =.=' but oh well... i'm busy :p
Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...
2 - the Helper
Thanks for taking the test !
you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").
"I must help others"
Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.
How to Get Along with Me
Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being aTWO
being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What's Hard About Being a TWO
not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
TWOs as Children Often
are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)
TWOs as Parents
are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?"
"Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
You liked the test?
so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!! use Quick-Paste below)
you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...
Well, since I don't really refer to myself as human 89% of the time.. guess that's somewhat acceptable... So..... Why the title? And why am I an amoeba....?
This is a true story...
However names will not be mentioned to protect the identity of my cousin.. [or well, attempting too.. haha] so here's what transpired 3 days ago...
Well, I don't think others will find this amusing or even remotely amusing... as I found it... but well, This is just one more for my journal...
Here's the story...
My brother called home... And didn't really want to talk to me either online or on the phone.. [because apparently I nag too much for my age... Sigh..]
Sigh, and well my sister was really busy too, so I had no one to disturb.. sigh.. feeling lonely and dejected, without any prey human to disturb online, and possibly due to other unknown angsty issues.
I had put my MSN status as... "Loneliness is poison to the soul" And I went about my own things, blogging, reading manga etc.. I was talking to one friend.. i.e Cheese.. when suddenly this cousin [hereinafter known as C] of mine suddenly messaged me on MSN, here's the rough conversation..
C: dont be a despo lah. your nick sounds like u just brokeup or something, I am crying just looking at it
Me: despo?
C: Desperate la, u so young
Me: hmm~ well.. i'm not desperate.. just depressed haha, there's a difference :p
C: kao [no idea what he meant by this]
*some other conversation about time zones, whether I'm looking for jobs, where I wanna work.. him going to visit my brother and sister soon, took place here... then suddenly...I'm serious, randomness runs in this family.. talking about me wanting to find a job, he suddenly said this... [guess he was trying to change the subject back to my nick, since I deviated haha]*
C: you need a bf is it... loneliness. even your bro has a gf hahahaaa
Me:haha bf ar? i find them troublesome la as frens ok la. bf.. too much trouble. i'm not lesbo.. but i don really hv any interest in guys [This wasn't in the conversation, but just to explain, I meant no interest at the moment.. maybe because Mr Right hasn't come along yet..] haha n my mom also getting worried liao haha
C: lesbo lesbo, what a despo Me: haha, well.. tats just me la haha
C: u be single ok. dont go and steal girls from us men. having a hard time finding good girls
Me: haha, If i ever get interested in them la ahha. As it is I'm some alien neither interested in men nor women haha
C: amoeba. ok stay that way. good
Me: haha. amoeba haha
*And for some odd reason.. I found that so damn amusing, that I just couldn't stop laughing.. Seriously... it was like the time, my dad said something about the cow eats shit, and shits grass, it's not even remotely funny but I was laughing so damn hard.. I blame my over active imagination haha... but seeing myself as an amoeba.. [with my weird imagination] really got me crying tears of mirth... ~imagines self slithering along the floor.. and deciding to reproduce by splitting self into two~ if you remember how an amoeba takes in nutrients.. it's even funnier haha..*
Me: i find tat so amusing :p haha.. my twisted sense of humour.. == tats a first for me haha
C: nice try. i give u 3/10. 1 for funniness. 1 for originality since i said it first. 1 for sympathy
Me: i wasnt trying to b funny == but the amoeba seriously cracking me up.. first time i heard someone call me tat when i sd i've no interest in either sex haha
C: thats what u are
Me: ur funny la haha
C: go reproduce urself
*I was really laughing hard when I read this haha, due to the imagination above...*
Me: haha :))
C: one sunz is enough
*Well, the conversation suddenly took another turn talking about abused kids, and crap parents.. but I was still an amoeba hahaha and with that, I told him I needed to sleep.. and the amoeba conversation ended*
The next day I changed my nick to. "I'm an amoeba, And I'm loving it"
When I was telling Cheese about it.. He asked what's so good bout being an amoeba...? And I was saying stuff like.. I don't need anyone, I can live alone.. I can reproduce a lone...etc
And Cheese dropped the bomb...
Cheese: What happens if you meet another amoeba?
Me: .....
Crap, I didn't think of that
Haha.. I totally forgot tat amoebas can reproduce with each other too haha....
Okay, as usual, when I'm dead bored, I extremely love to do tags... it helps you find out a bit more about yourself too, cause sometimes you have to think..
Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
1. At what age do you wish to marry? What age... ermm.. I'll think bout it when and if I ever get a boyfriend.. but well, ermm, if both parties are agreeable to spending the rest of their lives together, and are financially stable, and have their own place.. because I refuse to stay with in laws [have you ever read the papers? the problems that arise, and the marriages that fall apart, just because the husband is some mummy's boy, or where the in laws don't get along.. it's horrible...].. then.. yeah.. that's the time...
2. What is your primary pet peeve? Inconsiderate, selfish people, who lack basic manners...
3. If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend? Friend??!! A friend wouldn't try to take away the things you like, instead he/she will try to give it to you... But if I'm stuck with such a person.. I would do exactly what Ben did.. give him/her a taste of his/her own medicine, and sell it to make a profit too haha.. two can play this game of being an evil bitch/bastard...
4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat? hmm~ what would I give up.. what would I give up.. ermm.... my excess body fat haha..
5. Is there someone in your heart right now? Hmm~ good question.. is there?
6. Do you believe you can survive without money? Let's be reallllllyyyyyy~ realistic here... you wanna survive in this world??? no matter how much you hate it, you're gonna need some cold hard cash for that honey...
7. What are you afraid to lose the most? Things and people I love, and the dog...
8. What do you feel like doing, right now? Eating something unhealthy? like Mamak food? Indon Mee? Cheese Naan, Murtabak......
9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Sigh, if I had the guts, I would have done that aeons ago..[But I think that's just puppy love though... but still.... I had no guts.. What a coward... sigh...] Somehow I've this reaaaaalllllyyy old fashioned thinking that, the guy MUST confess to the girl first.. I know.. it doesn't really work that way any more now.. but it's that stupid mind set stuck within me, that stops me from saying anything... sigh.....
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you. how many times have I done this?? But well, I dont' remember what I said last time.. so here goes.. *Drum roll please* 1. he makes a good boyfriend 2. patient 3. adventurous and spontaneous. there's actually more, but it asked for 3....
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? A drop dead tall [but not too tall, don't wanna crane my neck] gorgeous looking, filthy rich [optional, as long as he's financially stable, and we're both working I'm fine..], intelligent heterosexual male homosapien, who is loving, loyal, considerate, kind, caring, shares the same interests as me, humorous, serious, .etc... Well it asked me what I wished for.. not whether it was realistically possible... haha.. Sorry, I read far too many shoujo manga =.='
12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad? Heck, if Mr Dream Guy even does exist on this planet and belongs to me.... My only complaint would be that he's too perfect haha but is that even a complaint? haha...
13. What is your ambition? Ambition? I'm starting to look for a job as a lawyer [Well first I need to pass the CLP, then do my chambering...]... so what do you think?
14. Is anyone really perfect? No one is perfect.. it'd be boring if we were...
15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick? Obviously happiness, what's the point of being rich, but lonely, alone and sad? Although realistically speaking we do need a certain amount of money to be happy...
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change? That's for me to know and change..
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with? I'm sort of like an open book..
18. How do you see yourself in 10 years time? When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, What will I be? Will I be pretty, Will I be rich, this is what she said to me. Que Sara, Sara, Whatever will be, will be, The future's not ours to see, Que Sara, Sara
19. What is the one thing you love about yourself? Being empathetic.. though it's a love-hate thing... cause I get misunderstood, taken for granted for and many other things for being a (selective) empath...
20. If you had 24 hours to do anything, anything at all in the world, whether it be realistically possible, what would it be? whether it be realistically possible? means it can be unrealistic [sorry you're dealing with a lawyer to be, I tend to read between the lines haha ] hmmm~ 24 hours to do anything in the world... I would..... Teleport to all the places in the world that I wish to visit, be able to fly to get a full view of the place and save my time walking, so that I can teleport to even more places. oh and have a camera with me to take pictures ahha, and enough money to buy some small little souvenirs.. well it would be great if I could teleport some people with me, who would be great travel mates. Travelling through space seems fun too... visiting mystical lands.. to see dragons, unicorns? ermm.. seems like I really like travelling I guess =.='
8 persons whom I tag: 1. Lai Yen Ling (Do it on Generation L. Maybe this would help you to post something, to second Ben, hoping it will have some sort of effect.. does she even come to my blog?? =.=') 2.Seck Wei 3. Melissa Soon 4. Chelle 5. Cheese 6. Ccy 7. Mikexmichelle 8. Terence
Randomly named souls, in which I doubt will do the tag.. =.='
Since arriving in Malaysia in 1997, I have tried on many occasions to buy a copy of the Malaysian road rules, but have come to the conclusion that no such publication exists (or if it does, it has been out of print for years). Therefore after carefully observing the driving habits of Malaysian drivers, I believe I have at last worked out the rules of the road in Malaysia. For the benefit of other expatriates living in Malaysia, and the 50% of local drivers who acquired their driving licences without taking a driving test, I am pleased to share my knowledge below:
Q: What is the most important rule of the road in Malaysia? A: The most important rule is that you must arrive at your destination ahead of the car in front of you. This is the sacrosanct rule of driving in Malaysia. All other rules are subservient to this rule.
Q: What side of the road should you drive on in Malaysia? A: 99.7% of cars drive on the left hand side, 0.2% on the right hand side, and 0.1% drive in reverse (be on the look out for drivers reversing at high speed in the left hand lane of freeways, having just missed their exit). Therefore on the basis of 'majority rules', it is recommended that you drive on the left. However, be aware that only 90% of motorcyclists travel on the left hand side - the other 10% ride in the opposite direction or on the sidewalk. Fortunately, motorcyclists traveling in reverse are rarely seen.
Q: What are the white lines on the roads? A: These are known as lane markers and were used by the British in the colonial days to help them drive straight. Today their purpose is mainly decorative, although a double white line is used to indicate a place that is popular to overtake.
Q: When can I use the emergency lane? A: You can use the emergency lane for any emergency, e.g. you are late for work, you left the toaster plugged in at home, you are bursting to go to the toilet, you have a toothache or you have just dropped your Starbucks coffee in your lap. As it is an emergency, you may drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.
Q: Do traffic lights have the same meaning as in other countries? A: Not quite. Green is the same – that means "Go", but amber and red are different. Amber means "Go like hell" and red means "Stop if there is traffic coming in the other direction or if there is a policeman on the corner". Otherwise red means the same as green. Note that for buses, red lights do not take effect until five seconds after the light has changed.
Q: What does the sign "Jalan Sehala" mean? A: This means "One Way Street" and indicates a street where the traffic is required to travel in one direction. The arrow on the sign indicates the preferred direction of the traffic flow, but is not compulsory. If the traffic is not flowing in the direction in which you wish to travel, then reversing in that direction is the best option.
Q: What does the sign "Berhenti" mean? A: This means "Stop", and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.
Q: What does the sign "Beri Laluan" mean? A: This means "Give Way", and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.
Q: What does the sign "Dilarang Masuk" mean? A: This means "No Entry". However, when used on exit ramps in multi-storey car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is: "Short cut to the next level up".
Q: What does the sign "Pandu Cermat" mean? A: This means "Drive Smartly", and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you. If you can see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.
Q: What is the speed limit in Malaysia? A: The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.
Q: So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers, 60, 80 and 110? A: This is the amount of the 'on-the-spot' fine (in ringgits - the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.
Q: Where do you pay the 'on-the-spot' fine? A: As the name suggests, you pay it 'on-the-spot' to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will hand to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the fine on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.
Q: But isn't this a bribe? A: Oh pleeease, go and wash your mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write, envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and maybe then you will wish you had paid 'on-the-spot'.
Q: But what if I haven't broken any road rules? A: It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are: (a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch; (b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station; (c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police welfare fund; or (d) you are driving an expensive car which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.
Q: Does my car require a roadworthy certificate before I can drive it in Malaysia? A: No, roadworthy certificates are not required in Malaysia. However there are certain other statutory requirements that must be fulfilled before your car can be driven in Malaysia. Firstly, you must ensure that your windscreen is at least 50% obscured with English football club decals, golf club membership stickers or condo parking permits. Secondly, you must place a tissue box (preferably in a white lace cover) on the back shelf of your car under the rear window. Thirdly, you must hang as many CDs or plastic ornaments from your rear vision mirror as it will support. Finally, you must place a Garfield doll with suction caps on one of your windows. Your car will then be ready to drive on Malaysian roads.
Q: What does a single yellow line along the edge of a road mean? A: This means parking is permitted.
Q: What does a double yellow line along the edge of a road mean? A: This means double parking is permitted.
Q: What does a yellow box with a diagonal grid of yellow lines painted on the road at a junction mean? A: Contrary to the understanding of some local drivers, this does not mean that diagonal parking is permitted. It indicates a junction that is grid-locked at peak hours.
Q: Can I use my mobile phone whilst driving in Malaysia? A: No problem at all, but it should be noted that if you wish to use the rear-vision mirror to put on your lipstick (women only please) or trim your eyebrows at the same time as you are using a mobile phone in the other hand, you should ensure that you keep an elbow free to steer the car. Alternatively, you may place a toddler on your lap and have the child steer the car whilst you are carrying out these other essential driving tasks.
Q: Is it necessary to use indicator lights in Malaysia? A: These blinking orange lights are commonly used by newly arrived expatriate drivers to indicate they are about to change lanes. This provides a useful signal to local drivers to close up any gaps to prevent the expatriate driver from changing lanes. Therefore it is recommended that expatriate drivers adopt the local practice of avoiding all use of indicator lights. However, it is sometimes useful to turn on your left hand indicator if you want to merge right, because this confuses other drivers enabling you to take advantage of an unprotected gap in the traffic.
Q: Why do some local drivers turn on their left hand indicator and then turn right, or turn on their right hand indicator and then turn left? A: This is one of the unsolved mysteries of driving in Malaysia.
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Q. What is the use of the hazard warning lights?
A. Contrary to all international protocol, this four way flashing light is switched on when the Polis DiRaja is escorting VIPs on the road to warn lesser mortals to move out of the way and not hinder the flow of the motorcade. Taking a cue from our finest (Polis DiRaja), motorists use this at the slightest excuse when it rains to tell other motorist to get out of the way as using this hazard light annoints them with powers that part the heavy traffic, somewhat akin to Moses parting the Red Sea.
Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig.
