the title just reads as watashi wa yurusei, meaning forgive me..

hahah so ppl or more like nesan,, forgive me for not updating for so long hahah.. well its oni two weeks after exams...

but i hv alot of way over due posts...

which are.. the mooting, the law firm visit... the exams... errr and now my taman sea alumni dinner and my law society dinner ahaha... banyaknya ahhah

u can say tat i am a bit the malas to type it all up now... but i promise tat i will so it asap...

well tmw i am not free as i hv to close the law society and law class fund for the second year class, then i need to withdraw the remaining money from the law society to pass on to my jospeh... then i need to choose wat title i want for my written work, for my third year..

sigh, another reason y i hv been lazy.. anime hahah..

recently iwent down teh central market to buy a baller hat for my scout uniform thing... well and we all know tat central market is near petaling street which is near S&M heheh

so in the end, i now have, black cat, flame of recca and sastukan no shana on my hands hahah

n my piano teacher borrowed me bleach. but it's in avi form... i tot meb i can use my com to watch, cos i already watched until episode 37 previously so there's nto much left...

but you know wat? my mac has 3 players, and all three cant open it... i have no idea y... my piano teacher's nephew downloaded it fr tjhe group of fan subbers called lunar bleach, which is the same as my bro's wan, but i can open my bro's avi files but not hers... dunno wats wrong so weird,, and frustrating.. at first i was so happy.. iwas like now i can watch ishida fight against the 11th captain... but cannot open!!!!! sob sob.. so sucky

anyway i hv already watched black cat... and my bro is rite.. I LOVE IT!!!! especially train.. hehe he's so cute, and when he fight he's like so chun... hahah

but such a pity he lost his friend Minatsuki Saya, from the way he acts, sometimes i think tat he has feelings which are more than a friend's feeling hahah, but he says she is just his closest friend... hahha... when i am done with the other two anime, i want to rewatch black cat again hehehe

oh am now watching flame of recca.. tat show i tell u, well, i like fighting shows, but this one... to cliche... its so damn similiar to yuyu hakusho and dragonball... i mean the tournament part..

its very like yuyu hakusho.. boring hahah...

but mikakagi tokiya is so damn cool, he's the analytical smart one in this anime, and so cool when he fights, he noes wat he's doing hhahah and can keep a cool enough head to think hehehe

so two more cds to go on tat one...
i think i can finish tat one by tmw, but i hv to close the account/journals then have to go to college on wednesday.. sigh so kacau

anywya, tats all for now, just came back from my law dinner and yum cha with Ai kun and mel, am kinda tired wan to sleep hahah.. i will post on all the stuff i said earlier..

then tat time don bug me saying tat i post too much ahhaha

ja ne
oyasumi nasai

-Oracl3-

X.

For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any,Who for thyself art so unprovident.Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,But that thou none lovest is most evident;For thou art so possess'd with murderous hateThat 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire.Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinateWhich to repair should be thy chief desire.O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind!Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind,Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:Make thee another self, for love of me,That beauty still may live in thine or thee.

XVII.

Who will believe my verse in time to come,If it were fill'd with your most high deserts?Though yet, heaven knows, it is but as a tombWhich hides your life and shows not half your parts.If I could write the beauty of your eyesAnd in fresh numbers number all your graces,The age to come would say 'This poet lies:Such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'So should my papers yellow'd with their ageBe scorn'd like old men of less truth than tongue,And your true rights be term'd a poet's rageAnd stretched metre of an antique song:But were some child of yours alive that time,You should live twice; in it and in my rhyme.

XXI.

So is it not with me as with that MuseStirr'd by a painted beauty to his verse,Who heaven itself for ornament doth useAnd every fair with his fair doth rehearseMaking a couplement of proud compare,With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems,With April's first-born flowers, and all things rareThat heaven's air in this huge rondure hems.O' let me, true in love, but truly write,And then believe me, my love is as fairAs any mother's child, though not so brightAs those gold candles fix'd in heaven's air:Let them say more than like of hearsay well;I will not praise that purpose not to sell. XXI.So is it not with me as with that MuseStirr'd by a painted beauty to his verse,Who heaven itself for ornament doth useAnd every fair with his fair doth rehearseMaking a couplement of proud compare,With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems,With April's first-born flowers, and all things rareThat heaven's air in this huge rondure hems.O' let me, true in love, but truly write,And then believe me, my love is as fairAs any mother's child, though not so brightAs those gold candles fix'd in heaven's air:Let them say more than like of hearsay well;I will not praise that purpose not to sell.

XXVI.

Lord of my love, to whom in vassalageThy merit hath my duty strongly knit,To thee I send this written embassage,To witness duty, not to show my wit:Duty so great, which wit so poor as mineMay make seem bare, in wanting words to show it,But that I hope some good conceit of thineIn thy soul's thought, all naked, will bestow it;Till whatsoever star that guides my movingPoints on me graciously with fair aspectAnd puts apparel on my tatter'd loving,To show me worthy of thy sweet respect:Then may I dare to boast how I do love thee;Till then not show my head where thou mayst prove me.

XXIX.

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,I all alone beweep my outcast stateAnd trouble deaf heaven with my bootless criesAnd look upon myself and curse my fate,Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,With what I most enjoy contented least;Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,Haply I think on thee, and then my state,Like to the lark at break of day arisingFrom sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth bringsThat then I scorn to change my state with kings.

XXVIII.

How can I then return in happy plight,That am debarr'd the benefit of rest?When day's oppression is not eased by night,But day by night, and night by day, oppress'd?And each, though enemies to either's reign,Do in consent shake hands to torture me;The one by toil, the other to complainHow far I toil, still farther off from thee.I tell the day, to please them thou art brightAnd dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven:So flatter I the swart-complexion'd night,When sparkling stars twire not thou gild'st the even.But day doth daily draw my sorrows longerAnd night doth nightly make grief's strengthseem stronger.

XXVII.

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;But then begins a journey in my head,To work my mind, when body's work's expired:For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,Looking on darkness which the blind do seeSave that my soul's imaginary sightPresents thy shadow to my sightless view,Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,For thee and for myself no quiet find.

XXXI.

Thy bosom is endeared with all hearts,Which I by lacking have supposed dead,And there reigns love and all love's loving parts,And all those friends which I thought buried.How many a holy and obsequious tearHath dear religious love stol'n from mine eyeAs interest of the dead, which now appearBut things removed that hidden in thee lie!Thou art the grave where buried love doth live,Hung with the trophies of my lovers gone,Who all their parts of me to thee did give;That due of many now is thine alone:Their images I loved I view in thee,And thou, all they, hast all the all of me.

XXXV.

No more be grieved at that which thou hast done:Roses have thorns, and silver fountains mud;Clouds and eclipses stain both moon and sun,And loathsome canker lives in sweetest bud.All men make faults, and even I in this,Authorizing thy trespass with compare,Myself corrupting, salving thy amiss,Excusing thy sins more than thy sins are;For to thy sensual fault I bring in sense--Thy adverse party is thy advocate--And 'gainst myself a lawful plea commence:Such civil war is in my love and hateThat I an accessary needs must beTo that sweet thief which sourly robs from me.

XXXIV.

Why didst thou promise such a beauteous day,And make me travel forth without my cloak,To let base clouds o'ertake me in my way,Hiding thy bravery in their rotten smoke?'Tis not enough that through the cloud thou break,To dry the rain on my storm-beaten face,For no man well of such a salve can speakThat heals the wound and cures not the disgrace:Nor can thy shame give physic to my grief;Though thou repent, yet I have still the loss:The offender's sorrow lends but weak reliefTo him that bears the strong offence's cross.Ah! but those tears are pearl which thy love sheds,And they are rich and ransom all ill deeds.

XXXVII.

As a decrepit father takes delightTo see his active child do deeds of youth,So I, made lame by fortune's dearest spite,Take all my comfort of thy worth and truth.For whether beauty, birth, or wealth, or wit,Or any of these all, or all, or more,Entitled in thy parts do crowned sit,I make my love engrafted to this store:So then I am not lame, poor, nor despised,Whilst that this shadow doth such substance giveThat I in thy abundance am sufficedAnd by a part of all thy glory live.Look, what is best, that best I wish in thee:This wish I have; then ten times happy me!

XLI.

Those petty wrongs that liberty commits,When I am sometime absent from thy heart,Thy beauty and thy years full well befits,For still temptation follows where thou art.Gentle thou art and therefore to be won,Beauteous thou art, therefore to be assailed;And when a woman woos, what woman's sonWill sourly leave her till she have prevailed?Ay me! but yet thou mightest msy seat forbear,And chide try beauty and thy straying youth,Who lead thee in their riot even thereWhere thou art forced to break a twofold truth,Hers by thy beauty tempting her to thee,Thine, by thy beauty being false to me.

XXXVIII.

How can my Muse want subject to invent,While thou dost breathe, that pour'st into my verseThine own sweet argument, too excellentFor every vulgar paper to rehearse?O, give thyself the thanks, if aught in meWorthy perusal stand against thy sight;For who's so dumb that cannot write to thee,When thou thyself dost give invention light?Be thou the tenth Muse, ten times more in worthThan those old nine which rhymers invocate;And he that calls on thee, let him bring forthEternal numbers to outlive long date.If my slight Muse do please these curious days,The pain be mine, but thine shall be the praise.

十日五月二００六年：　水よ日

The title just reads as omoishiro, which means “interesting”.. I am not sure whether the word can be written in kanji, as my kanji is not that good yet, and well, I am not sure what slang does this computer use.. though I have studied Tokyo slang, but this computer is weird, in the sense that I couldn’t even write the word Tokyo in kanji.

And well when I tried to write “ten” for the date, in which when I learnt Japanese, ten was pronounced as “Jyu” i.e. じゅ　but I couldn’t get 十 to come out, luckily, from watching anime and Japanese TV series, I learnt that another word for ten is “to” i.e. と, then only did I get the character I wanted.. After testing the system, I realised that I couldn’t write nine (kyu/ きゅ) also in kanji.. And I’ve no idea what’s the alternate word for it.. Sigh, well, I shall learn it after my exams..

Just a short post here.. What was interesting? Well I did a tarot reading for myself today, concerning my exams.. My question was, “how will I fare in my exams?” Or something to that effect… or did I ask, “How will my exams be?” haha ken gene should find this interesting, since he has tarot cards as well…

Anyway bottom line, you get my drift, the reading that came out was interesting, and which also suggested that I don’t waste my time, here’s my reading..

I did the cross spread, it’s the only one that I am good at and fully comfortable with, and the results are quite accurate if you asked me:

The past and the influence the past has on my question: eight of cups, reversed side up. Meaning: running away from problems. Abandonment of what is good and secure in pursuit of an impossible dream..

How that relates to me? Well I do have the feeling that I am running away from problems, but what problems? I am not sure of that.. (Or maybe I am..) And yes even now I still have that feeling of running away.. If only I can place my finger on the problem, then I can at least face it.. Aii, feel like watching anime la…. I want to watch Bleach haha… see running away again haha…

Obstacles in my path: The Star, correct side up. Meaning: insight, understanding and hope for the future. This card is a good indication that wishes will be fulfilled, not always as one expects, but even so, the unexpected can have a good result. The Star shows good health and that gifts will be given, the spiritual dimension of life should not be ignored.

How is that related? A card this good, how could it be an obstacle? Well, my obstacle? I am day dreaming/staring into space too much and not studying. I took it to read it in the sense in the predicament that I am in at the moment. And I would say, that the first thing that came into my mind? I would say that my hopes are too high, that is an obstacle, cause since last time I have always been doing last minute study, and I got results, so its that kind of hope here, which is making me not study, so I guess it’s still the obstacle.

Influences working in my favour: The moon, right side up. Meaning: take care, as all is not as it seems. You need to use your intuition to deal with a deceptive situation, the path you are on is difficult and may cause fear, but continue along it, even if you are beset by doubts, because all will eventually turn out well.

How is this card related? Well, one word, intuition. Which is telling me I need to really force myself to study now, and somehow I feel like charitable trusts, directors powers, parliament, and tenancy in common and joint tenancy is coming out haha, so, is my intuition working in my favour? We will only find out after my exams. And it’s also a good indication that, although I’m scared cause I haven’t started studying nuts, and it’s difficult to finish all four subjects in four days, but I will make it.. Or so it indicates…

The near future: the king of pentacles, reversed side up. Meaning: A stupid, unimaginative man who is easily bribed. Associates with gamblers. He is a bad enemy to make.

Now this I don’t understand, I never really did understand the four cards (the king, queen, knight, and page) when they come out, except when they are used to describe a person. The physical description for the king of pentacles is: a dark man who holds considerable responsibility.

How is this card related to me? It’s in fact my near future, in regard to my exam results.. Does it mean that I am taking a gamble.. Again.. When I do tarot reading I really rely quite a lot on my intuition, the first meaning to come to my mind is what I usually take as the meaning, and more often then not, I find that it’s accurate that way. So to me, this is a gamble. Studying last minute, is a gamble that I take. But how is this the near future? Maybe it's talking about the next few days to come, before the exam. That is the near future too, and yes it’s a gamble to trust my intuition and study the afore said topics…

The long-term future: temperance, correct side up. Meaning: careful control of volatile factors resulting in a successful conclusion. A harmonious partnership, peace restored after a troubled time. Self-control and adaptability. The power of imagination being that such wishes can be fulfilled.

How is this associated with me? Well, first thought that comes to mind. If I can exert self control and study and stop daydreaming, watching anime, staring into space, playing piano, singing etc, then I will reach a successful conclusion, which is obvious if I study, the control of volatile factors.. To me, it’s my conscience, that I need to control at the moment, which is right and which is wrong, sleep or study, I need to control those, and the answer is obvious, study.. So that’s my translation. Bottom-line I just need to concentrate and study.

Finally the last card. The eventual outcome in my life: The Devil, Right side up. Meaning: unyielding power, tyranny, lust and greed. An immovable obstacle that cannot be overcome yet may be worked around. Discontent and depression caused by an overwhelming force.

How it relates? Walau eh, bad card leh.. But my understanding is that I will not be contented with my results, well, I never was with all my other results, (what do you expect with last minute study?) so despite the rest of the cards saying that I will make it, I will be discontentted, does this mean that my results won’t make a second upper.. shit, means I am only going to get a second lower, or worse a pass? Bad, bad, bad…

The other thing is that, the majority of the cards are from the major arcana, meaning that my exam results are governed by destiny, it is not in my hands.. But haha I am one who believes that, although destiny and fate paves my path, it is my choice to walk it…

So overall, my reading suggests that I really need to get my ass moving and start studying, and surprisingly I can now concentrate a bit more..

Though I got a kind of a surprise call from Melissa asking me whether public benefit is needed in charitable trusts for poverty, (note, it is not needed) although I haven’t touched equity yet, lucky we did a tutorial on that, and I answered that so I know that it’s not needed.

Anyway, really need to go smack my butt, and get working!! がんばって！！

And to the rest facing exams (which besides 愛くん & Melissa, I only know to be ch33s3): Good luck to you all too…

Now to control myself and get off the computer to study haha…

-Oracl3-

七日五月二００六年:日よび

Hi, hi,

For those who can read Chinese, I am sure that you guys can make out the date right? (7/shichi nichi 5/go gatsu 2006/ni rei rei roku nen) Maybe not the day, but basically that is the “nichiyobi” (Sunday) that I have been typing a few times already…

And at least the words “today” (jin re in mandarin) and “weather” (tien chi) but the rest is in Japanese.. Anyway the title simply reads as, “kyou wa ii tenki da”.. Meaning “today the weather is good”.

So, why am I blogging about the weather? Hahah, weird, no? Well, I guess I just felt like it? Been stuck at home the whole, what? One, two weeks? Real boring nothing to do, forced to study, but I couldn’t really concentrate, and ended up doing other stuff like, cleaning up, staring into space, watching some anime (but surprisingly, after watching some anime, especially Bleach, I could concentrate for a few hours.. haha weird, maybe cause it helped me to release some tension, Ai kun should know what tension I am talking about.. haha, it’s not exam related..) and… errrmmm listening to music, singing, playing the piano… and, other stuff la… plus the weather is so damn hot, I didn’t really feel like studying…

けっきょうく便居はないぞ。。ああ、このままじゃおとさんは私やっぱり殺せだ。。しまったね、ほんとに大変だ。。ああ　もう。。 家族の問題。。ああ。。私の心はほんとに悲し。
kekkyouku benkyo wa nai zo.. aa, kono mama ja otosan wa watashi wa yappari korose da.. shimatta ne, honto ni taihen.. aa mou..kazoku no mondai.. aa.. watashi wa kokoro wa honto ni kanashi
So in the end, I encrypted that part hahah, in case some errmm, people that will have my head, reads this blog, I will still be safe.. Anyway I guess you guys don’t bother what it means anyway..

Okay, back to the title, nice weather.. Last night it really rained man, totally like cats and dogs pouring out of the sky, and it rained till morning, resulting in today’s nice cool breeze, haha, gives me a refreshed feeling..

だから今日は私は便居はほんとにはじまる。。うそじゃなくって私はほん木田、時間わない。。でも、できかできないか、私も知らないぞ、けど、私はねぜったいまけないぞ！！がんばるなっきゃちゃ私ね。
dakara kyou wa watashi wa benkyo wa honto ni hajimaru.. uso janakutte watashi wa honki da, jikan wa nai.demo, deki ka dekinai ka, watashi mo shiranai zo, kedo, watashi wa zettai makenai!! Gambaru nakkyacha watashi ne.
So that’s all for now la, am going to go study, hopefully I can concentrate, haha..
待ったねみんなさん (matta ne minna san/Till later guys!!)

-Oracl3-

Wish me luck for my coming exams, it starts on May 15th and ends on the 19th of May. Gambatte ne!!

And にさん (nisan) sob, sob, the Bleach you left me with, is incomplete, over 30 episodes missing… hahah I shall pinjam from others muahahha