“People are able to hold onto hope, since death is that which cannot be seen”

The title reads as toki doki, which means sometimes…. or it can also mean occasionally, but i prefer to use it in the sometimes context

This post is nothing special, just trying to say that sometimes I realise certain things, and well, I thought that I would just pen it down... more like type it down…

Just some random thoughts collected over time… This post will not be amended for anyone except roscoe; if he requests me to… complaints will be heard, but not entertained…

So if you don't like what I’ve posted, then go fly a kite in a heavy thunderstorm…. = = If you like, you may do what Benjamin Franklin (1706-90) did.. Maybe you will get a new hairstyle or discover something new haha …

Yes, sometimes I feel really, really mean… emphasis on the really, cause I think I’m always mean anyway… So ya, sometimes I feel really, really evil… I mean, mean….

Sometimes, I feel that the house is just too quiet, and that I would love to have one of my older siblings around. Just to bicker or watch anime together, or talk nonsense. Or to give me naruto manga and anime to read, and watch, and to teach me how to use my computer haha…

Sometimes I feel that I want my older sister back home here, so that she could bring me out to have fun; mahjong sessions in genting, movies and drinking and other stuff, and also so that we can call each other “bitch” more frequently haha

Sometimes I feel that it’s good that they are not around… roscoe will be really pitiful during that time… = = and the house will be too noisy for my liking…

Sometimes I feel that I want to be treated like the little sister again… :p

Sometimes I feel that ccy is the best haha, ok la don’t say sometimes, after he cry, muahaha but this post is titled sometimes ma, haha so bear with me la ccy :p when ccy is in Malaysia, he’s great company, especially when I need dinner company… the rest all cakap only wan, but they all never teman me for dinner when I need one… liars and undependable…

Sometimes I feel that roscoe, is cute haha, and most of the times I feel that he is terlalu cute haha… but he’s always the cutest in the world… :p

Sometimes I wonder, why do most of my friends all like to make fun of roscoe, or me and roscoe? So what if I love him to bits? It doesn’t affect any of you one bit!! So screw off!!

Sometimes I wonder, is it so hard a fact to accept that he is a miniature pinscher and not a Chihuahua? It’s not my fault that you never heard of that breed before. Neither have I before I got him, go google it, even if you don’t google it, my dog is a miniature pinscher, stop calling him a Chihuahua!! I’m totally not amused!! And he’s not ugly!! I accept that we have personal opinions on what is cute, that girl/guy may be cute to you, but she/he isn’t to me, but you don't hear me saying that she/he looks like a gargoyle!! Again I will say it.. screw off!!

Sometimes I feel lonely, sitting at home all the while, with no one and no where to go out with, but I’m also broke, so I can’t go out even if asked haha…

Sometimes I don’t feel like going out, or meeting anyone at all…

Sometimes, roscoe really smells, especially around the weekends, well, its bathing time anyway haha…

Sometimes I feel that roscoe hates me, and is super unresponsive… guess I bully him too much… but he’s too cute.. I can’t help it = =

Sometimes I find that going online is super boring, going online everyday makes what I can do limited… checked my mail.. So now what? Haha… if I was on broadband that would be a different story haha

Sometimes I wish I had broadband.. = =

Sometimes I wish that I had Animax…

Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have too many distractions…

Sometimes I wish my room was bigger… or maybe I should wish that I had less rubbish? Haha :p

Sometimes, well most of the time when I need to meet gene, or go out with him, which makes it sometimes, cause sometimes only I’ve to go out, or have to meet him, anyway, sometimes, I’m so damn bloody annoyed with gene, super tardy, never keeps his words, empty promises, selfish, the list goes ever on and on, just like Bilbo Baggins song....

If you are reading this gene, I want my black cat back by September, cause I want to watch it again before I go overseas!! Anyway wasting energy here.. He doesn’t read here anymore… funny thing is that he can ask me to go read his blog instead, when he doesn’t read mine, why should I bother what’s with his life if he doesn’t bother with mine?! This relationship is a one-way street!!

Sometimes I feel like going to a theme park to have a day of fun, and ride all the crazy rides that really makes your adrenaline rocket!! But no money, no company, no time, and no one to organize…. Sigh…

Sometimes, well at the moment it’s every time already…. Sometimes I wish that I could stop organizing activities just so that everyone can meet up together, why can’t someone else do it? Don’t any of you have any organizing skills at all? At least if I had someone else, I could take turns and I wouldn’t feel so tired and burnt out about this… so don’t ask me to organize anything anymore, I’m on strike!! = =

Sometimes people don’t even bother to RSVP by the given time!! And they don't bother to at least tell me that they are not going, resulting in me calling them again… or they will just FFK!! No courtesy!! Is this the thanks I get for organizing something? Then I rather not do it anymore then.. Let’s all just let our relationships die, cause I’m on strike and from the looks of it, neither of you has any organizing skills…. = =

Sometimes I feel so unappreciated, I don’t really get the little pat on my back and the “good job” or “thanks”. All I get is more work, more stress, more troubles, more….

Sometimes I wonder how many friends bother reading my blog?

Sometimes I wonder, whether anyone bothers to read my blog? The whole thing word for word…

Sometimes I wonder why people don’t use the tag board? Leave a message so that I know that you are still alive somewhere…

Sometimes I wonder, what are friends for? What are close friends? What are best friends? Do I have one, or am I lucky enough to have a few?

Sometimes I wonder, why do I give people my 100% attention and get 0% in return? Shows how unimportant I am to these people….

Sometimes I feel so bored…. And lazy… and… = =

Sometimes I feel so frustrated… lately it’s been most of the time… but oh the hell with it…. Not like anyone will, and can do anything about it.

Sometimes I feel so depressed… but am too lazy to think of the reasons that have made me depressed… so just cry only la… though I can’t cry even when I want to… sigh….

Sometimes I feel that TNB is a jackass.. For the recent electricity cuts… = = if it wasn’t due to the hot weather I wouldn’t mind, if it was cool I could at least still sleep = =

Sometimes I feel that the weather is too bloody freaking hot!!!

Sometimes I wished I could just strip naked and jump into a pool haha… private pool mind you…

Sometimes the weather makes it too damn bright…

Sometimes I wish that I don’t have astigmatism, then my eyes wouldn’t hurt even though it’s so damned bright, and I don't have to carry my suns everywhere, and I could see better at night, without my spectacles…

Sometimes I wish I had magic powers, and that I could go on an adventure… meet strange people and maybe things??!! Make great friends, travelling companions…. = = I know la, read too many books and watch too many animes liao… Lately been reading Groove Adventure Rave that’s why feel like that haha… Haru is so damn lucky… I want friends like that too = =

Sometimes I wonder why I’m alive, what am I supposed to do? What’s my purpose?

Sometimes I wonder what the hell are exams for? Study so much useless things, which you don’t use in daily life & cause you don’t use it, you forget… = =

Sometimes I wonder why I never had a boyfriend haha, but then again, after a second I would think, I’m too picky and immature for one… haha… mostly too picky though haha.. Too many requirements to be fulfilled haha… :p

Sometimes I wonder why can’t I sort out my own feelings, I haven’t the slightest inkling that I like a guy till its too late… or more like, I never realize till people ask me and I start thinking.. To some of you whom I asked earlier whether I like a certain someone, you are all right, guess you guys know my feelings better than me… = =

Sometimes I wonder, why don't I hate people, then again, why waste time and energy hating people…

Sometimes I wonder, why do I forgive easily, but cannot forget? I read somewhere, that if the mere thought of the incident still makes your blood boil, than you haven’t really forgiven that person, but it also says that, you aren’t civil around people you don’t forgive. Since I’m civil, but a bit cold, cause scared of getting hurt again, but I do boil up a little, (not even to steaming level if you asked me actually haha) when talking bout the incident, and I still can’t forget it, so have I really forgiven? Sigh…

Sometimes I wonder why are my tastes so conservative, I like instrumental kind of music, classical music etc, don't like music like Linkin Park and all, where they are seriously and obviously attempting to expel their lungs… am a oldies person? Not only music, clothing too, I like well, can’t say much about clothing, I’m scared of coldness, so don’t really buy many of “those” kind of clothes, though I do wear them if the weather is too damned hot… but heyz, parent’s money what can I do? Have to follow what they allow lor haha… :p

Sometimes I wonder, why can’t I tahan sejuk? Not like I don’t have any fats at all = = I do have fats…

Sometimes I wonder how a lot of things work… but no one can explain it too me.. sigh… and what am I going to do with that knowledge?

Sometimes I wonder, how do singers sing, and don’t go off key… the melody of the song and the melody of the singing is totally different, how do they do it?

Sometimes I wonder, why must there be mosquitoes, more like, why must they always revel in sucking me dry, and being so noisy as to disturb my sleep?

Sometimes I wonder, what’s wrong with the world? What’s wrong with humanity? Simply killing and robbing, torturing animals, committing all sorts of crimes…

Sometimes I wonder what is our police force doing? People are getting robbed and killed…

Sometimes I wonder will corruption ever meet its end? I’m corrupted too, so guess that answer is “no” haha

Sometimes I wonder, will people who mistreat animals really meet their end at the hands of the law?

Sometimes I wonder, is there really God? Is there heaven? People all around the globe have different beliefs, so what? Are there are like 3 heavens and 4 hells? (Explanation= Jews, Christian and Muslim, thus 3 heavens n 3 hells.. Buddhism has hell only… unless you want to count nirvana? Is that considered heaven? But we get reincarnated… plus there are some other “small” religions around too, but don’t know whether they have heaven and hell, so I didn't count them in… Sometimes I wonder why am I thinking about things like this = = )

Sometimes I wonder, is religion really all that good… (Some of you guys should get what I’m talking about.. hint* I always say Buddhism is the best!! haha)

Sometimes I wonder, why can I feel the presence of spirits, and what the hell are they doing near me? Sheesh…. Bugger off… = = leave me alone, I have enough problems…

Sometimes I wonder, why don't people say “brb” or “bz” if they are going somewhere for a while? They just like to MIA and leave you wondering whether they are still alive…

Sometimes I wonder why don’t people have the courtesy to reply your messages, its either their fault or MSN’s…

Sometimes I wonder, why do I bother looking after other’s feelings when they don't look after mine?

Sometimes I wonder, why am I too altruistic? Why can’t I be more selfish? Even when I pray, I ask for other’s well being… not mine, that’s why lately I don’t pray anymore…

Sometimes I wonder, why do I bother at all? Maybe that explains why, as I grow older I become more mean, and apathetic haha

Sometimes I wonder, what happened through out this whole year, to make me write a post like this?

Sometimes I wonder, was it due to years of suppressed build up?

Sometimes I wonder, why do I have so many things to wonder?

Sometimes I wonder, why am I too lazy to write up everything that I’m wondering?

Sometimes I wonder, will there be a continuation to this “sometimes” post?

Sometimes I wonder why I wonder at all…

The end

『サヤカ』

Now that you are done reading, that blender sure does look appealing doesn’t it? Why don't you go play with it while I watch? Muahahhaha


Updates… been doing nothing much lately, only moping around…

十七日ハ月：木よ日- did nothing much, went for piano class, and discovered that, though I can sing, my voice is from the alto to messo range, or was it menno? Don’t remember what my teacher said, anyway, it means that I am slightly below soprano. Anyway found out, that I can sing but I have a tendency to follow the piano’s melody not the original singing melody, resulting in going off tune… sigh..

Anyway had fun singing, and made me feel more relieved.. But that was only temporary, helped my mum, more like she help me.. Anyway we made western food for dinner, marinated chicken wings and the must have mashed potatoes, wei sun’s secret recipe in the marinating and the mashed potatoes ahhah.. yum yum… love it..

Call me too asian but I love my food a little spicy hehe… anyway, when that time of the month comes I usually crave for spicy stuff about a week ahead of it haha… then again, I always love spicy food so its hard to tell muahahha..

Anyway.. The marinated chicken and its sauce were perfection haha.. with just the right spiciness and sweetness.. Though I suspected that I may have overdone it with the sweetness, as I burnt my tongue the day before and can’t really taste properly…

十八日ハ月：金よ日- had bak kut teh with ccy, was supposed to go yesterday, but since I already prepared dinner, and he told me so last minute, so sad, I had to turn him down, so to make it up, we had bak kut teh today.. Not bad, sat there and ate, and yum cha, really yum cha, we drank tit gun yam haha and chatted and chatted, attentive listener.. hehe really a good friend ler..

After that went to my house and chat, talk bout music, played the piano for him to hear, and said how much we admired huey, well he of course admire her more than me muahaha.. And ate kiwi fruit haha, I looked at the colour and it looked sour, but I can’t taste it.. Guess my taste buds are still injured…

Anyway, drank too much tea at dinner resulting in me unable to fall asleep till about 3 or 4 am. And on Saturday woke up at 1 pm = = sigh

十九日ハ月: 土よ日- nothing much, slept quite a lot, read a bit, went to BU to walk, and checked out the long johns, we had Shakey’s and those people are liars, the food looks so nice in the menu but when it came out it was like crap… and it tasted a bit like that too, maybe cause I had better ones than that.. Anyway can’t do much cause in the menu it says “for presentation purposes only” screw them… if you make it look like that, a reasonable person would be expecting something like that too, asses!!

Lately been cursing quite a lot on my blog... Guess my mood really is bad lately… = =

二十日ハ月：日よ日- did nothing much, woke up near noon… 4th uncle and grandmother came over, showed my uncle my sister and brother’s graduation pictures, I look so pretty in my brother’s graduation pictures muahahhah…. After that I went online for a bit, then read for a bit, then napped for a bit, then bathed and went for dinner… Drank too much tea, (hiong pin this round) so I can’t sleep so I decided to update… so that’s all.. Its already Monday,12.26am, and I won’t be doing anything until after my exams, which ends the 31st, except read, sleep, eat, drink, make water and defecate, and well play with roscoe too… and maybe go online once in a while…

Wish me luck. Exam in exactly ten days… == orang lain merdeka, saya belum.. :(
= = Like anyone will… anyway.. Thanks in advance to those who will do so.. :p

“On wings of hope”

-Oracl3-