Title reads as yume meaning dream…. The other day I had a dream… it was totally weird haha.. So I looked up the meaning of it in the dream dictionary… and well this is what I got, and I must say.. It hits the spot, cause that’s how I feel…

There was this site that I used before whenever I got weird dreams, and after reading it through, and after relating it to whatever situation i was in at the time i had the dream, I did find that it interprets my dreams correctly…

an example was, when i felt like i was loosing a friend, those here in the UK and my sister will know which friend i was talking about, but a short update on that problem... is well, if that friend is going to treat me like that just because of what other's say, then that person is not matured enough, and doesn't treasure my friendship enough.. so that's it, i don't bother much about that friend already... i thought that i could get another close friend, but oh well, fate will have it.. that we will just be "arm's reach" friends... bottom line, the dream dictionary hit the spot on this problem of mine haha it was the same with my last crush as well haha... he was really hiding something from me haha, guess it was out of friendship and not to hurt me though :p

anyway back to this post...

I’ve just taken the part that is relevant to my feelings and the dream…

I tried to keep it in the order of how I dreamt it…

No explaining needed, it explains itself clearly…

** To dream that you are sleepwalking, signifies discontent and your ongoing struggle for contentment. This dream may also indicate that you are just "going through the motions" in your everyday life.

To simply see (but not use) a vacuum in your dream, suggests feelings of emptiness. You may be experiencing a void in your life.

If a wall stands in your way in a dream, there is a barrier obstructing your progress in real life.

To brush your teeth, foretells that some great struggle will be demanded of you in order to preserve your fortune.

To dream of toothpaste, means you are trying to protect yourself from anxiety and hurt.

To dream of loose teeth is a warning of untrustworthy friends

In general, dreams about losing one's teeth are common and suggest the dreamer feels powerless or out of control in a real life situation.

If your teeth fell out or you spit them out, you are anxious about money

To dream that you are bleeding represents a feeling of loss of power. You may be suffering from exhaustion or feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions may have come back to haunt you. Try to avoid any sort of controversy with friends or relatives. **

The part about money… I’m not so sure.. though it’s not 100% ruled out, there are times when I m anxious about money.. who isn’t when the currency here is 7 time mores… =.=
The rest… to me it hits the spot…

Well I haven’t had any real arguments with my friends… what more bitter… but yes I do feel emotionally drained…

It’s not because I m far from home or whatever.. As has been explained above.. I just feel empty... And I’m emotionally drained… I’ve never been homesick, cause I don’t have the chance to. In fact here is better cause I can talk to my sister more, cause of the time, and well.. My dad is always online and still nagging me, and my brother well, we don’t really talk much to start with, if you must say, the only thing I miss is my dog haha… though i don't say it much, cause whenever my brother or sister calls home or chat online, they always ask bout the dog that it annoys my mum, so i never ask for my dog... but mothers are mothers after all haha...

in fact my family members are online so much to talk to me that it is annoying, cause usually they don't give much attention to me.. i'm usually ignored, and left to my own devices.. that getting all this attention suddenly, is so annoying!!

I’ve always been a loner, so that’s just how it is.. だって私はずっと一人だけ。この寂しの感じもかまわないで。

People in depression get better over time... But I… I seem to be falling back into the pit after all my hard work of struggling to get out of that damned pit of depression… it’s so hard that I just feel like giving up… and I think in some ways I have…

How I wish I could just cry and let it all out, but there is no one that I feel like saying anything to… and don’t bother asking.. Most of you think you know me but you don’t. I won’t tell anything unless I want to, so bugger off and stop asking..

If you don’t know what to do, just leave me alone. That’s all I ask… leave me alone, I don’t want to hear anything from anyone.

And stop asking me to get a boyfriend!!! Like much help that will get me.. Just get a guy to hear me bitch/whine???!!! What the fuck is that man?! Isn’t that what friends are for? To hear you bitch/whine, listen, comfort you, then throw you straight back onto earth… well who am I to say since I’m a bad listener myself…

But yes, bottom line, stop telling me to get a boyfriend, it’s like asking me to add on to my problems... How will getting one when I’m down help me? When I’m no longer down (and if I don’t love him, getting one just because I m down, sounds like you are asking me to get one on a whim.. where are the feelings??!!) I will no longer need him then… then what… guys are humans too.. Ok… it’s like getting one to use only..

Shit man.. Sometimes you people are so heartless, and inhumane, how would you like it if someone only stuck to you so that you can comfort him or her whenever they are down, reply to their every whim. And when they are all happy and nice, they throw you into a corner.. just to use you for their own selfish needs!!

haha ironic, come to think of it, quite a lot of you guys do that to me, and I’m only just a friend… so I won’t do that to other people if I can help it. i always do my best to comfort people, and be there when they come to me... but then again.. it's human nature to be selfish, i m sort of missing that factor.. i ought to pick it up and make full use of it...

And all I have to say? I’m tired of this shit.. Tired of being strong, tired of trying to act like I’m ok, tired of acting like everything is ok… just tired…

I m not asking to be proved wrong or whatever, it’s just that I m tired… Of everything…

友達はいらない誰もいらない

i've changed, i m no longer the optimistic and altruistic person you once knew... so don't say i didn't warn you....

-Oracl3-