"There is no shortcut in life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned."

stuck in my hometown with nothing to do,(not to mention feeding mosquitoes =.=') i was reading some old books lying around, namely reader's digest, and came across this article which i thought to share. (ARRRRGGggHHH so itchy... =.=' so many bites... )

December 1985 reader’s digest
Condensed from woman’s day
Written by Jo Coudert

My brother in law reads magazines when company is visiting his home. A neighbour of mine doesn’t introduce the person she’s with when I run into her on the street. When I invited one friend to lunch, she arrived an hour late because she’d come across a garage sale.

They’re all perfectly nice people; they just have rotten manners. Heaven knows they’re not unique. These days you’re lucky if you can make it to work in the morning without being cut off in traffic, having a door slammed in your face, or getting smoke blown in your eyes at the coffee counter.

It used to be only department storeclerks and French headwaiters who were consistently rude. Now it’s everybody. But the extent of the breakdown in manners is no reason not to fight back, and I’m trying.

One of my favourite weapons- the invidious comparison- worked well recently when I hurried into a well drugstore to buy aspirin. The clerk, after a glance that dared me to object, continued shelving cans of hairspray. Finally I asked mildly, “whatever happened to that sweet fellow who used to work here?”

I have no idea who used to work there, but the clerk sprang up to wait on me to probe he was as lovable as the next guy.

Now if I could just come up with an equally effective line when strangers call me by my first name. last week a chiropractor summoned me from his waiting room with a hearty, “ come in, Jo.” I’d never set eyes on him before. How was I to respond? Calling him by his first name would be uncomfortably intimate. On the other hand addressing him as “Dr. So-and-So” while he called me “Jo” would put me at a psychological disadvantage. I didn’t have the nerve of a dignified friend, who simply won’t look up when her first name is called.

Although the first-name problem still awaits a solution, I have no trouble when someone phones up then puts me on hold. I hang up. Ditto for the rude caller who starts the conversation with “Who’s this?” as for friends who don’t identify themselves when the call, I call them by someone’s else name.

The other day a young woman stopped me on the street for directions, which I had to repeat three times. The she walked off without a word. It’s so easy to say “thank you” that I wonder why the words have become so rare. The dearth of thank-you notes for gifts is particularly galling. One friend cut off birthday checks to nieces and nephews if two years go by without a thank-you note.

As for wedding presents that go unacknowledged, one friend boldly calls the couple to say she’s putting a tracer on the package she assumes was lost in the mail. I’m more cowardly. I call the bride’s parents and ask if the gift got there. Once when I did that, the parents chided the bride. Her answer: “ I’m not into thank you notes.”

The implication of the bride’s remark- that of a relaxed, informal approach to life- is often cited to explain the behaviour I’m complaining about. It’s considered friendly to call you by your first name, it’s proof you’ re not uptight to be casual about getting places on time. I know all the arguments; I just don’t think much of them.

It seems to me that simple courtesy makes life easier. If your invitation says R.S.V.P. but I don’t let you know whether I’m coming because I’m not “hung up” on things like that, you’re hung up planning your party.

I used to think manners, like paint, were designed to make the surface look good. But one day I learned the real value of paint the hard way- when I investigated a parade of black ants climbing the side of my house. I discovered they had tunnelled through the unpainted bottm of a windowsill and were attacking the wooden underpinnings. And I suspect we’re now learning the hard way that manners aren’t merely decorative but serve to keep the foundations of society intact.

So I’m going to continue my one woman war against rudeness against the thoughtlessness that could someday bring our civilization down in ruins.

~~
scratching away.... sigh

-Oracl3-

"A real friend never gets in your way, unless you happen to be on the way down"