"Though I Laugh & Smile, That Doesn't Mean That I'm Happy Inside"

一日九月二００六年：金よ日

The title just reads as sayounara ii shin chan to satoshi you kun. Errm, which in English reads as, goodbye, yee sin and chee yong.

Chee yong’s name in Japanese is pronounced as satoshi (智) ＆ you (揚）the you, pronounced as yoh minus the h sound and u as in uh also minus the h sound. Errm I don’t know yee sin’s Chinese name so I can’t translate that, so I had to put it in katakana, for the pronunciation only.

But for chee yong, calling him satoshi kun sounds kakoi daro? Ne huey chan? Haha.. (sounds cool doesn’t it, huey?)

Anyway some people may be wondering why, I used chan for yee sin and kun for ccy. Well calling a guy kun is a usual thing, though it can be used on a girl too haha (e.g. is Ai kun, a girlfriend of mine known as xian ai to some of you), but I think for ccy’s part I don’t need to explain why I call him kun, the reason why I call him kun, applies to all that I call kun. Besides satoshi kun sounds nice haha :p

Anyway back to yee sin’s chan. Errm well, it’s not because his surname is chan, but chan, besides its ordinary usage, is also used to signify a really close relationship, which could vary from best friends, to family.

So, I’ve known yee sin for so long, since form 2 and honestly, among all my friendships, there is not one friendship the same like our friendship, like family, that kind of feeling :p well, yew meng and ccy comes close though haha.

Though must say that, actually now closer to ccy then sin ler haha.. But calling ccy satoshi chan… like so.. Not cool la haha.. So we stick to satoshi kun la, sounds more gaya haha

Ccy, finally I translated your name into Japanese for you, so since I’m sayaka, you are satoshi ler haha.. :p or you can be you chan hehe.. If we use your last name, that one sounds ok if we add the chan behind it :p sounds cute hehe

Haha, know sin for so long, yet don’t know his Chinese name, haha.. Anyway ever since high school, not much contact already la, as we are all busy, and that boy, when got girl friend wan, this person here is forgotten one haha…

So anyway, deviated long enough, back to the title, reason behind this title, is because today yee sin is flying off, actually it’s tonight, (to Leeds, UK) and well tomorrow morning ccy is flying off (to Michigan USA). So this is to bid farewell, to both of them la. I’ve no mood again, (upset, my good friends leaving especially ccy, now I no teman liao, sigh) so don’t feel like posting twice haha, sorry ccy, cause of my laziness you have to share post with yee sin :p

Well, so that about sums it up, for the title, now for a short update.

Ermm I last posted on the 26th of august. On the 26th actually, yee sin’s family held a farewell for him, so I went and met up with some old friends there, like xin yin and Nicholas seoh. And some Kemboja people that I’m so not close to haha

In the morning of the same day, actually I had dim sum in the morning at SS2 Thai Thong, yum, yum, a lot of people over there I tell you.

After that came home lazed about a bit, read a bit, then at night drove over to yee sin’s house for the farewell. Haha, I really rabun malam I tell you, and I didn’t wear my spectacles when driving, so I was like, stopping every few corner lot houses and asking my dad, is it this one? haha, and I tell you his place is so damn “well lit”. making it so damn hard for me to see. Sudah lah astigmatism sigh.

Anyway, had a bit of fun there, chatting and all, then went home at about 10 something.

After that, the next few days, nothing to say. Cause didn’t do anything except, eat, sleep, make water, defecate and read. And online a bit ahha

Oh the day before, I think, it was the day before, or maybe two days before, or was it the day after? Damn, can’t remember.

Anyway, I somehow miraculously injured my back, suffering the pain, can’t even bend over, if I want to pick something off the floor, like my dog or what ever, I have to squat, damn, this is forcing me to have good back posture, walk have to walk straight up, sit also back have to be straight up, carry light things or slightly heavy things also, have to squat to pick up and keep my back straight. Sit need pillow behind to support my back… cis…

I remembered during sin’s farewell that I had to like sit up straight the whole time… I think… so I guess it was the day before his farewell or something like that I suppose.. damn my memory sigh

三十一日ハ月二００六年：木よ日

back still hurts…I think it was after sin’s farewell I hurt my back? Haha, can’t remember…

Finished exam, finally… because of two bloody freaking F**king marks, I had to suffer for 2 months, asses, screw reading, and well, screw myself too, my fault, mainly.

After that, did nothing much, caught up, on my sleep. And after that “test drive” the anime that huey got for gene. It’s called 好きなものは、好きだから、しょうがな。suki na mono wa suki dakara shouganai. Which means, errr. Direct translation it means, “I like because, I like, I can’t help it”, or a better translation? Involuntary liking? (This was an idea from my mum) Haha don't know how to translate. Errm “I can’t help it but I like you” or “I can’t help what I like” ? oh, oh what about this, “ I can’t help, falling in love with you” haha F4 song haha anyway… I can only do direct translation ler… =.= sigh

In Chinese its 喜歡就是喜歡 (xi huan jiu shi xi huan) I hope I got it right haha.. some one help me translate?

Since gene don’t read here wan, so I will give spoilers la haha, the anime is a gay one, (homosexual guys) it’s not porn ok!? Errm its storyline quite nice ler haha, but the thing bout it, is that the couples inside the show.

Though they are all guys, but the couples looks like there is a guy and a girl. The other character looks and act girlish. I was thinking if they just change the seiyuu (voice actor), and the character’s body to a female, viola. I almost misunderstood that, some of the characters weren’t female due to the way they look and act haha.

Maybe that’s why they had to make the voice actors all really sound like guys haha.. if you watch other animes sometimes the guy character has a soft kind of voice, like ken shin in rorouni kenshin and Edward elric in full metal alchemist. Those were female seiyuus haha.. So if they did the same for this anime I would really think that some of them are female haha

Anyway despite being a gay anime, it’s nice. 12 episodes. Not bad. The storyline is also quite good to me. (Maybe been watching too many mecha and fighting animes that this felt different, in a refreshing kind of way haha)

Though I don’t mind gay stories, (honestly, I prefer straight stories, you know one guy and one girl haha, the usual) I was still going like, such a waste, they are all bishounen (good looking guys), and as I said from the drawing they might as well make some of the characters girls. (=_=’)

But I didn’t mind this one compared to loveless, rin was ok though. Both which are manga that I got from gene. I didn’t really like loveless, cause well, as I said I prefer straight pairing, and it was like such a waste, the girl like the guy, but the guy is gay.. sigh… wasted… but what to do la, that fellow’s personal preference. So I guess the only gay ones that I won’t mind is when there are no females present to like the gay guy haha, then I won’t feel pity for the girl and dislike the character kekeke…

So, anyway enough about that.

Today i.e. the 1st of September, due to my watching suki dakara, I slept really late, (really loved the story line and was laughing so much that I just couldn’t stop haha)
And I had to wake up early in the morning to pass my library books to meng to help me return ありがとうミンくん（arigatou meng kun/ thanks meng, for meng, although I know him for so long also, kun sounds nicer haha）

Went back to sleep after that, woke up, and since meng promised lunch at 2 something, I went online instead to wait for him, and I want to smack rowan. He read my blog, and I said that I won’t reply emails if he didn’t reply, and walau eh, I know at one point I said that, when and if I email him, I might get only a few lines, but I didn’t even get a line, just a measly 4 words. Sigh….

Anyway, went out for lunch with meng and Eugene, at Mohsin in Mayang Jaya. Haha I hardly go to mamak, so I don’t know what to order, simply order la haha… I wanted the one last time rowan ate, went we went out yum cha with Thomas and gene that time, the one with the pineapple, but Eugene said that Mohsin don’t have, sigh…

Anyway was quite quiet on this outing, didn’t really say much, no mood… =.= I think my condition is getting from bad to worse. But maybe it’s cause sin and ccy is leaving ler, so today especially no mood ler = _=’

After eating, those two started talking about STDs pulak… I was like sweat.. don’t want to hear… la~la~la~

Those two I tell you, corruption to my innocent mind la haha…

As if that is not enough, Eugene thinks I’m lesbian =.= haha well, don’t blame him la until now I still no boyfriend, my like that lor haha…. Can’t blame people for misunderstanding, since I don't show much interest in guys or girls, sigh people in general anyway haha.. Anyway think what they like la, it makes our outings all the more interesting haha… :p

After that sent Eugene home, wanted to drop by yee sin’s house, but got lazy. So when I got home I called yee sin instead. So have a safe trip ya yee sin! And keep in contact wor… maybe when we are both free we can even meet up in London haha… will miss ya, and ccy too.. Will miss both of them dearly la, since ccy has been such a great teman to me lately also. Take care ccy!! Muaxz.

Both of you, have a safe journey, and may the ones above always protect you both. Take care, will miss you, and I love you both tons!! Hugz :p

You know, come to think of it, I don’t have any pictures with yee sin, he has one with roscoe, and that’s in my album, but I don't have one with him.. hmmm~

Oh well, anyway got to go now, have a scouter council barbeque to attend, will blog about that later I suppose.

Hope my mood will get better now that, I’m no longer under “house arrest” haha but still, I guess it’s not as simple as that.. = = Even now, the eclipse is still present, when I spoke to meng, he said that, an eclipse is a beautiful and unique thing.

But about my eclipse, beautiful? Nah, how can being down be beautiful haha, unique, yes, some of you guys know me for close to a decade already, have I ever been down? Haha no, right? Guess there’s a first time for everything.

Though no mood I tried to blog as much as possible haha, not bad, like tat also can make 3 pages on words la ahha, guess no matter the weather I can always crap la. Queen of carpology, who dares dethrone me?! Muahahhah :p


二日九月二００六年：土よ日
Just came back from the scouter council barbeque. At about 1230am so it's the 2nd already la haha. Bath and come online also bout 1 am lioa haha

Can’t sleep, so I thought that I would just add this in, so that I don’t have to post another time. Anyway, the barbeque was quite fun ate a lot, and met new people, though I was relatively quiet, considered, by my standards haha, since I’m usually very noisy wan…

Errrm ate until I wanted to burst, seriously, if you wanted me to eat anymore, I had to puke to make space, which I didn’t do haha.. Had a glass of California red wine, ok ler, not bad the wine. But can tell that the wine still quite “young” cause it wasn’t very sour, or was it due to my taste buds? Haha due to the late lunch with Eugene and meng, not much space to eat.. =_=’

What else, may suan has real cute dogs, oh which brings me to the venue, it was held at may suan’s house, quite nice her house, and well the people that came?

Those that I know, but I’m not very close to the scouter council haha, so anyway, errm, Andrew, thiam beng, michelle, caroline, lynn, ying shern, Ai kun of course, errm aun wei, may suan (duh, her house wert) fung chuan, kwee kiat, kar yu, charles, kuan fei, trixie, errm new people that I don’t know was, immi, Vincent chan I think that’s his surname, errmm damn forgot his name, I only know he is a pilot in training with MAS

Errmm they may be a few that I left out… some came late, some came for a while. Horn yang wanted to come, but he just got back from Australia when I called, and he overslept haha. So he didn’t make it.

Oh back to her cute dogs, one of them has been around since when I knew may suan, called misty, that dog reminded me of jo weng, no the dog didn’t look like jo weng, it was because when I was iin form 3 I went to her house when she still lived in mayang and well jo weng and I, were like.. you know ler that time haha.. the other dog though, reminded me or rocky, my aunt’s miniature pinscher that died, and one which I loved.. =.=

So, anyway what did we do, but be Malaysians and eat and eat and eat. We did a surprise for aun wei for his birthday, and boy was that funny hahah..

Even thinking about it now makes me laugh. We all turned off the lights and waited inside the house in a back room, and due to the light from the candle, they made trixie who was holding the cake, hide in the toilet.. Haha a cake hiding in the toilet haha.. Joker la they all, and we were all too busy laughing that we forgot about the cue to start singing so tat the cake will come out of the toilet haha.. Joker la.

Oh, actually my back still hurts, but lately the pain hasn’t been so intense, but may suan’s dog pushed me, now pain again.. Sob, but not as pain when I first hurt my back ler haha.. her dog very big you know, rotwieler, haha don’t know how to spell haha.. Anyway that kind of dog ler, cute, but big.

This kuan fei so cute la, he’s scared of dogs, and seeing him react when one of the dogs came near, was funny ler haha, though pity him a bit for fearing dogs.. Some bad doggy must have bullied him last time… :p

Well, overall I had some fun there la, though I wasn’t really in the mood, I still chatted and laughed a bit here and there. Then ccy came to pick me up and send me home. Smart me forgot my key, so I had to wake my dad up to open the door :p

Overall, was quite a good night la, considering my down mood. Don't know why, but just realised, but when hang out with ccy, mood become better wan haha, good friend hor? Haha..

Ok ler, will miss ccy dearly la.. All of us will ler, huey especially :p

So that’s all for now 待ったね　(matta ne – till later)

-Oracl3-

To everyone:

“circle means forever… no beginning and no end… let our good relationship be… not just an endless line but a circle that goes on and on for a life time”