I think this was taken before I got on my flight to England.

When we leave,

We leave a big gaping hole,

That never closes.

-サヤカ-

My going to England 9 years ago for my studies, was probably the first time we had been apart for so long. Since we were usually inseparable, that on school breaks, rather than go out with my friends, I'd rather stay home with you. 

Usually every night you would go to my room, to sleep with me, and if I had my door closed you would make sniffing sounds at the bottom of the door's crack to let me know you were there, or you would bark softly to ask me to open the door for you.

Although I told you that I was leaving, I guess it was still difficult for you to accept or understand then, and every night you would look for me, and you didn't eat for 3 days apparently, until I had to call home and asked you to eat. 

And I heard from mom, that maternal grandmother stayed over and slept in my room, with the lights on and the door closed, you probably thought I was home and according to mom you stayed outside my door that whole night.

Just listening to her tell me all those then, and thinking of it now, it's so heart wrenching, then and now.

That's how attached you were to me.

In my room in Reading, next to the light switch to turn off the lights I had your picture there - It was the last thing I saw every night before I slept. 

That was how attached I was to you.

I now have your picture again, next to my bed, it's the last thing I see before I turn off the lights every night again.

While I did some emotional damage to you in that time I was away in England, but at least I came home to you in the end.

But this time... Where do I go to come home to you?

***

Hi Baby,

I got how you felt 9 years ago, and this year when I went away for an extended time. While I have more in my life to keep me occupied unlike you, I at least understand the feeling of not wanting to be apart that we both felt, and at least on my part, still feel.

-sunz-