It feels like bursting,
But the dam is quite strong.
-サヤカ-
First love. Do you remember your "First Love"? The silly nick name we gave to one of your toys. Your first soft toy to be precise.
That toy was a toy dog, given to me by a friend, who you could say I was once close with. I put up with a lot of her antics for 3 years as I preferred to only see the good side to people.
When in fact she could hardly keep any other friend besides me for a year. A lot of people asked me how did I manage to stay her friend for 3 years. But I digress.
Anyway, since it's well known amongst my friends that I love dogs, many a time I've received a doggy soft toy from my friends and your "first love" or "cho lin" as we liked to call her in Cantonese, was such a present.
She used to sit innocently on my bad, then one day you started biting on her nose. I doubt we could say you were teething, as I think you were past one years old that time.
But I always tried to make you jealous by praising cho lin, saying she was a "good dog", I guess that your jealousy got to you and you started biting her.
Till one day, I realized her nose was missing. Well since I had no attachment to the toy anymore, as I was no longer friends with the person who gave it to me. And since it was just sitting there, I thought you would be better off with it, and gave her to you as your toy, as your cho lin.
And she was your cho lin for so many years of your life, accompanying you to Bentong, sitting with you in your bed.
I think it's amazing that you can recognise your toys and would go fetch her when I asked you "where is cho lin?".
I would like to think I was your actual first love haha (in a maternal sense, not romantic sense), but anyway, she was your cho lin, and she will always be your cho lin. I will make sure that she continues to sit next to you when I get home to you.
***
Hi Baby,
It's hard not being able to cry. I want to cry, but sometimes it feels like I don't know how to cry anymore. I try not to think too much. But the pain doesn't go away. Although I'm tired of crying, I seriously think it's unhealthy for me to stop.
I used to get excited and happy when I saw other dogs, but now I just feel morose when I see other dogs.
-sunz-
But the dam is quite strong.
-サヤカ-
That toy was a toy dog, given to me by a friend, who you could say I was once close with. I put up with a lot of her antics for 3 years as I preferred to only see the good side to people.
When in fact she could hardly keep any other friend besides me for a year. A lot of people asked me how did I manage to stay her friend for 3 years. But I digress.
Anyway, since it's well known amongst my friends that I love dogs, many a time I've received a doggy soft toy from my friends and your "first love" or "cho lin" as we liked to call her in Cantonese, was such a present.
She used to sit innocently on my bad, then one day you started biting on her nose. I doubt we could say you were teething, as I think you were past one years old that time.
But I always tried to make you jealous by praising cho lin, saying she was a "good dog", I guess that your jealousy got to you and you started biting her.
And she was your cho lin for so many years of your life, accompanying you to Bentong, sitting with you in your bed.
I think it's amazing that you can recognise your toys and would go fetch her when I asked you "where is cho lin?".
I would like to think I was your actual first love haha (in a maternal sense, not romantic sense), but anyway, she was your cho lin, and she will always be your cho lin. I will make sure that she continues to sit next to you when I get home to you.
***
Hi Baby,
It's hard not being able to cry. I want to cry, but sometimes it feels like I don't know how to cry anymore. I try not to think too much. But the pain doesn't go away. Although I'm tired of crying, I seriously think it's unhealthy for me to stop.
I used to get excited and happy when I saw other dogs, but now I just feel morose when I see other dogs.
-sunz-
Labels: ✿Goodbye Precious✿, ✿私の気持✿
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home