Time

Time passes by,

But nothing changes.

-サヤカ-

When I was going through the number of videos that I had of you, I came across this one.

Look at your reaction when I asked you to shower. You were always running away from your bath time. I guess you didn't like it much, cause the water got in your ears, yours eyes and your ears. And it was always so cold after that right? Even though we used warm water to shower you, I guess with your small size, body heat escaped all too easily. 

When I first got you, I couldn't stand your doggy smell and showered you every 3 days, but that dried out your fur and skin, and I realised that it wasn't good for you. The recommended times to shower your dog is supposedly once a week.

So I followed that, but that still didn't make bath time easier. 

We used to shower you every Sunday, and it was funny how you would avoid me every Sunday until after we've showered, or at least until after I've showered lol. 

I had to often trick you, I couldn't mention the word "Bom bom" or you would go into hiding. 

There was one time, you ran away and hid under the bed, and I had to get a broom and try to flush you out like I would a rat. You were so naughty then. But as you got older, you understood that you couldn't run away anymore and relented to your showering fate gallantly.

***

Hi Baby,

As the hours turns into days, the days turn into weeks, people keep saying to me that "time will heal", "things happened for a reason", "it will get better" & "He wouldn't have wanted you to be like this". I'm tired of hearing all that. 

Time isn't doing anything for me, and saying all those other things is like telling me not to grief. And I hate hearing those things now, it makes me feel like no one understands, and maybe they don't.

Me being unable to cry, in front of strangers, me having to force a smile is fact. 

Me missing you is a fact.

Me being unable to look at other dogs in reality or virtually without crying  is a fact.

Me being unable to enter a pet shop is a fact.

Me still being in pain is a fact.

And the pain having not gotten any easier for me.

Is a fact.

-sunz-