Across

As I stand here,

Across the street,

Time trickles by,

The seconds moves past,

The crowd blurs in a flurry,

And like the corward that I am,

I turned tail and ran. 

-サヤカ-

When ever I see a pet store, or pet supplies; I had always loved checking it out. But though today I tried to check out pet supplies, I couldn't. And when I inadvertently appeared across the pet store, I just stared at it, debating if I should go in. 

I couldn't, so like the coward I am, I turned tail and left. 

However, speaking of pet shops, I remember how we tried to bring you to one every chance we got, and every time we showed you the puppies in the shop, you'd get scared and you actually pee-d a few times too. I actually panicked the first time, because I was didn't know what was wrong. 

Those puppies probably said some mean things to you eh? Like how we were going to leave you there with them. That's why I try not to bring you to them anymore. I was like a crazy parent you know? Showing her kid, those are puppies, but hey, you are one too! *Chuckles*

So when we don't show you the other puppies, you'd be happily exploring the shop. I still remembered how excited you got, trotting around the shop, you were adorable. 

Well everything you do is adorable to me, but that's besides the point.

I remember you checking out the aisles, sometimes sticking to us, sometimes venturing on your own, and we having to find each other. 

Those were the times.

***

Hi Baby,

I don't have much to write today. I've been feeling empty for a few days. But today was a bit better. 

Maybe because I started planning sis's itinerary for her visit here, and I'm getting busy preparing for my business trip next month. 

Good news is that I've been crying less. Because I know you wouldn't want me to cry everyday. So I try, and today I didn't cry at all. Although I felt the tears coming to my eyes when I saw some pet stuff, I managed to hold it off. But that's what you would want right? For me to continue on.  

You are defintely more generous than I am. Cause I thought that if I go, I definitely wanted you to follow me; but then again, all you had was me, so it would have been better if you went with me. But I digress. Back to today...

My heart beat so fast when I was faced with pet stuff and the pet shop. But today I actually checked out a calender decorated with dogs. So I guess I'm getting better. I didn't have the courage to enter a pet shop to see puppies yet though. I wasn't confident that I'd be able to enter one. I actually stood on the pavement across the pet shop, contemplating if I should go into the shop. 

But before the light turned green...

I thought; if I had to think that long, I probably shouldn't go in. I'm probably not ready yet. So I didn't cross that road, and just left.

I guess; we never fully recover from losing someone precious; I just have to learn to continue on without you. 

I'm still always thinking of you, but at least I don't cry, or cry as much anymore as I recall our fond memories together. 

Also, I added in some colour to my wadrobe today...

Much love 

-sunz-