I can't breathe,
But I'm trying.
-サヤカ-
With your sensitive ears, I guess you obviously disliked loud sounds, and every Chinese New Year, you'd be subjected to the loud boom and bangs from the multitude of fireworks that go off in the middle of the night.
Well those noises irritated me too, since I couldn't sleep that well lol. I would try to hold you to calm you down, but you would always struggle and stand somewhere to bark.
I never did understood why. Usually if you were afraid wouldn't you want to be cuddled and held? Guess maybe you were not scared then.. Probably just scolding the fireworks for being so noisy? * Chuckle*
Anyway, besides the nights being so noisy with fireworks, Chinese New Year is usually one of the time we cam-whored with our family pictures, and I guess one of the rare times we got the whole family together for a family photo, with you (fur included lol) was in 2010.
Look at the happy smiles.. lol
This face is more like... "Huh? I'm not ready for my picture yet!" lol
Looks like you were tired off all the picture taking lol.
This one I used as one of my profile pictures. We both still looked so young. lol
***
Hi Baby,
Today was not a good day for me, woke up because of my stomach (my gastric is a psychological issue now, I acknowledge that...), and found it hard to breathe. So I had to force myself to take in deep breaths.
Started tearing, but it felt so difficult to cry.
It felt a little like I've forgotten how to cry, or probably, it's because part of me wants to cry and let it all out, while the other part of me, is tired of all the crying.
So it became a little like a constipated crying lol. I guess I was physically really tired as well - what with my outings the past 2 days, so it drained me emotionally as well, hence the reason why I couldn't hold up I guess.
Mom asked me to pretend that you were still at home waiting, but I don't think escaping from reality is going to help me with any thing.
I guess it's being alone here that's really what is doing me in.
But I guess I will live to see another day.
-sunz-
But I'm trying.
-サヤカ-
With your sensitive ears, I guess you obviously disliked loud sounds, and every Chinese New Year, you'd be subjected to the loud boom and bangs from the multitude of fireworks that go off in the middle of the night.
Well those noises irritated me too, since I couldn't sleep that well lol. I would try to hold you to calm you down, but you would always struggle and stand somewhere to bark.
I never did understood why. Usually if you were afraid wouldn't you want to be cuddled and held? Guess maybe you were not scared then.. Probably just scolding the fireworks for being so noisy? * Chuckle*
Anyway, besides the nights being so noisy with fireworks, Chinese New Year is usually one of the time we cam-whored with our family pictures, and I guess one of the rare times we got the whole family together for a family photo, with you (fur included lol) was in 2010.
Look at the happy smiles.. lol
Looks like you were tired off all the picture taking lol.
***
Hi Baby,
Today was not a good day for me, woke up because of my stomach (my gastric is a psychological issue now, I acknowledge that...), and found it hard to breathe. So I had to force myself to take in deep breaths.
Started tearing, but it felt so difficult to cry.
It felt a little like I've forgotten how to cry, or probably, it's because part of me wants to cry and let it all out, while the other part of me, is tired of all the crying.
So it became a little like a constipated crying lol. I guess I was physically really tired as well - what with my outings the past 2 days, so it drained me emotionally as well, hence the reason why I couldn't hold up I guess.
Mom asked me to pretend that you were still at home waiting, but I don't think escaping from reality is going to help me with any thing.
I guess it's being alone here that's really what is doing me in.
But I guess I will live to see another day.
-sunz-
Labels: ✿Goodbye Precious✿, ✿私の気持✿
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