Looking back, I’ve always been lonely. Always trying to find that someone to connect with me and show me the affection I desired. But time and time again I’m made to realise that people only care about themselves, and I’m left in disappointment. Thier own lives obviously comes first. Can’t fault them for that. I mean that’s how the human species has continued to thrive till today. 

So I guess that it’s not surprising that we turn to pets for comfort. As unlike humans they love you (or seem to lol) unconditionally and will just quietly sit bedside you. Just the company is sufficient. 

That is also probably why I decided to take another leap of faith and love again. I still miss you dearly baby, and the new baby can’t and will not replace you as he is an individual of his own, but after all this years, he is slowly, surely and gradually bringing sunshine back into my life.

One thing i noticed is that, i am probably scarred, as small little things about him gives me anxiety, and i associate caring for him, also, in a way caring for me. So i get upset when i get no help in caring for him, especially since before i got him, i was offered help, and i took that blind leap of faith trusting those promises… but it looks like those promises cannot be trusted and it it just means that no one cares for me, and in the end, I’m proven right that i am, but alone.

I I also feel a bit guilty to him cause it feels like, unlike you who was just nothing but a bundle of joy, that he has to be my emotional support, the thing to keep me going. But i guess in your later years you kind of had a similiar function lol… 

Well i suppose people need something to keep them going, and then it was you, and now it’s him. It’s been a years since i posted and a few years since he came into my life. 

But in this month of august which i am thankful for, i would just like to say to you, thank you, you probably sent him to me, despite my hesitations and aversions. It’s funny how he takes an instant liking to your  old toys and bed, and is continuing your legacy of destroying First Love lol..

I I love you baby and am sharing that love with the new baby. 

Forever in my heart 

Currently in my heart, my little pop star, thank you for bringing light back into my life. Please stay healthy for many, many years to come.